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RE: 14.959 hrs to live

 
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RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/26/2007 9:20:27 PM   
Terminus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

ARGH! Enough with the geek jokes!


Not to worry. I think that is the world's supply of Physics jokes. Besides, I wouldn't want to Bohr anyone.



Ba-Dum-Pum!

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RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/26/2007 9:53:18 PM   
Onime No Kyo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So, a couple of Sodium atoms are sitting at a bar. The first one orders a round.

Na-23: Bartender! Two shots of Cazadores please, with limes, hold the salt.

Bartender: Rocks?

Na-23: No thanks. Straight up. It's the water, you know. <turns to the other Sodium atom> So, how long you in town?

Na-24: I don't know for sure. You never do really know. I'll probably be gone tomorrow. It sucks.

Na-23: Hey pal..been there..done that. I am down with that.

Na-24: How you been?

Na-23: Bit out of sorts. I lost an electron.

Na-24: NO S***, man! Are you sure?

Na-23: I'm positive.


ARGH! Enough with the geek jokes!


Dude! Thats 3 geek jokes in one.

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Post #: 1322
RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/26/2007 9:55:09 PM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

ARGH! Enough with the geek jokes!


Not to worry. I think that is the world's supply of Physics jokes. Besides, I wouldn't want to Bohr anyone.



Ba-Dum-Pum!


Huh? Watt was that?


_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

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Post #: 1323
Falling from the sky - 8/26/2007 9:57:39 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Wow! What a bloodbath on both sides.

Hot shot Tonys from Lashio and Mandalay swarm over Myitkinia chewing up the RAF and USAFF medium bombers, which, apparently due to poor weather, are shorn of their escort. It is ugly and the Jap ground units are mostly untouched.

At the same time, the massacre of Bettys and Zeroes is prodigious and the Japanese raids are completely ineffectual.

Curiously, the Tonys never meet the RAF CAP over Myitkinia. A planned sweep of P-40's from Imphal does not go off due to weather and a planned B-17 raid over Lashio is also scrubbed. Although no Tonys are lost in A2A, they suffer perhaps 10 operational losses because of the damaged and distance to target.

Approximate losses over Myitkinia for Sept 12 are:

RAF and USAAF: 58 x medium bomber, 39 fighters

Japanese: 41 bombers (inclduding 36 Bettys ) and 43 fighters (mostly Zeroes)




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Post #: 1324
RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/26/2007 10:05:42 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Dude! Thats 3 geek jokes in one.


4

5, if you count the radioactive decay jokes separately.

BTW anyone know if Na-24 undergoes Beta decay? If so, he could come back to the same bar and enjoy shots of Cazadores whith his friend until their money runs out. Or maybe he cold just go the head and lose a neutron. Then he wouldn't have to leave at all.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/26/2007 10:16:43 PM >

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Post #: 1325
RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/26/2007 10:14:12 PM   
Onime No Kyo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Dude! Thats 3 geek jokes in one.


4


Ah, yes....I'll be gone tomorrow. Four it is.

_____________________________

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Post #: 1326
RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/26/2007 10:16:02 PM   
Terminus


Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline 		I wonder where the silliness of calling salt "sodium" comes from? I mean, the abbreviation IS Na...

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We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

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RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/26/2007 10:22:51 PM   
Onime No Kyo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

I wonder where the silliness of calling salt "sodium" comes from? I mean, the abbreviation IS Na...


Caustic Soda.

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"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

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Post #: 1328
RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/26/2007 10:26:50 PM   
Terminus


Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline 		Nah, it's just you people being obstinate...

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Post #: 1329
RE: IBM card reading error - 8/26/2007 11:58:28 PM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Another thing occurred to me. I wouldn't worry about being stigmatized by a physics/astronomy joke (as long as you don't have a pocket protector that has the planetary masses and orbits on it).


Whew! Dodged that one.

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Post #: 1330
RE: IBM card reading error - 8/27/2007 12:01:43 AM   
Terminus


Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Denmark
Status: offline 		So, does your pocket protector have planet masses or orbits, since it doesn't come with the stigma of having both?

_____________________________

We are all dreams of the Giant Space Butterfly.

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Post #: 1331
You think YOU have problems? - 8/27/2007 2:09:12 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		After the hemorrhage of aircraft over Myitkinia on the 12th, the pool of volunteers is shrinking.

The Japs put in a big attack, achieving a 1:1. This could go either way.




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Post #: 1332
RE: You think YOU have problems? - 8/27/2007 2:39:33 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Hope you have cable




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RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/27/2007 3:38:22 AM   
rtrapasso


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So, a couple of Sodium atoms are sitting at a bar. The first one orders a round.

Na-23: Bartender! Two shots of Cazadores please, with limes, hold the salt.

Bartender: Rocks?

Na-23: No thanks. Straight up. It's the water, you know. <turns to the other Sodium atom> So, how long you in town?

Na-24: I don't know for sure. You never do really know. I'll probably be gone tomorrow. It sucks.

Na-23: Hey pal..been there..done that. I am down with that.

Na-24: How you been?

Na-23: Bit out of sorts. I lost an electron.

Na-24: NO S***, man! Are you sure?

Na-23: I'm positive.


So, a Neutron goes into a bar and asks for a beer. After the bartender gives it to him, the Neutron asks "How much?"

The bartender replies: "For you - no charge!!"

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1334
RE: Frauline Tatarin - 8/27/2007 3:39:27 AM   
rtrapasso


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

..






Dr. Heisenberg was forced to carry out most of his business over the phone as he hated to drive: every time he looked at the speedometer, he got lost!

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Post #: 1335
RE: Frauline Tatarin - 8/27/2007 3:50:24 AM   
Naskra

 

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Status: offline 		Is it true Heisenberg ran over and killed Schrodinger's cat?

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Post #: 1336
RE: IBM card reading error - 8/27/2007 4:08:37 AM   
BrucePowers


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Joined: 7/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

God, Mandrake, thats such a geek joke. I'm almost offended that I laughed at it.



Another thing occurred to me. I wouldn't worry about being stigmatized by a physics/astronomy joke (as long as you don't have a pocket protector that has the planetray masses and orbits on it).

There is something else that puts that to shame on the geekdom scale. You do realize we are congregating in an on-line forum dealing with a computer wargame where we can reassign the commander of a barge flotilla, where complicated turns can easily take an hour of work and where the game itself could easily last 1000 turns That is some serious geek power. In my last multiplayer WITP game I accidentally sent a planning email to my sister. Ouch! You may not realize how "straights" are bound to view jargon about obscure WWII aircraft and it is fair to say most people don't know what a "Flush Deck Destroyer" is. She gleefully told my other brothers and sisters. Oh man, I was the victim of some serious prison rape at Thanksgiving dinner. I was the live entertainment. The only one who "got it" was my braniac nephew who is a bioengineerinng major at USC and his dad quickly shooed him away lest some geekdom wear off on him.

Of course, I had a blast making fun of my daughter's old boyfriend and his seriously geeky World of Warcraft buds.



I have an audio file called "The Knack" about engineers if anyone wants it. It's hillarious (if you are an engineer type).

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1337
RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/27/2007 4:09:16 AM   
BrucePowers


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

I wonder where the silliness of calling salt "sodium" comes from? I mean, the abbreviation IS Na...


Latin, I do believe

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Post #: 1338
RE: IBM card reading error - 8/27/2007 4:18:14 AM   
BrucePowers


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quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Another thing occurred to me. I wouldn't worry about being stigmatized by a physics/astronomy joke (as long as you don't have a pocket protector that has the planetary masses and orbits on it).


Whew! Dodged that one.


I don't wear pocket protectors, never have

I did offer to bring my sliderule to work to show the newbies (some of them have never seen one)

I mean what are you going to do if your calculator batteries die out in the desert?

Mine is an all metal beautifully made K&E that belonged to my grandfather. He was a professor of electrical engineering from about 1901 to 1955

< Message edited by BrucePowers -- 8/27/2007 4:19:15 AM >

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Post #: 1339
RE: Frauline Tatarin - 8/27/2007 5:24:56 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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From: Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

Dr. Heisenberg was forced to carry out most of his business over the phone as he hated to drive: every time he looked at the speedometer, he got lost!


What a retard! Why didn't he just go down to Kragen and get a bolt-on tachometer? He could use that to estimate his velocity. Honestly, the more I hear the more I think the Nobel committee made a serious error.

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 1340
Yo lavo su bikini....
- 8/27/2007 5:50:55 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		There is some serious mojo going on around here. I forgot to mention what happened Thursday with my housekeeper. She is Mayan. I'm not kidding. She is from Yucatan and her profile is like one of the carvings on the pyramids at Chichen Itza. Spanish is her second language. I'm not sure what her first language is...Que'cha or something like that. She is, generously, about 4 ft 10 and, I am guessing, 40ish. Why am I telling you all this? Well, it is sort of germane. She is a good worker (although, I have learned that, in her hands bleach is a chemical weapon and that I need to hide any wool slacks less they be converted to shorts in the washer) but it has never occured to me to see her in a carnal light. OK, enough of the preamble.

Wednesday, I was repairing and tuning the sprinklers so I put on my surfer-style board shorts so I could stand in the spray and adjust the sprinklers with a screwdriver. A couple of times, when I got hungry I would go into the kitchen to make a gin and tonic and she was in there unloading the dishwasher or something. OK, here is the wierd part. The next morning I am getting ready to go to a dental appointment (which turned into a root canal) and she is putting some laundry away in my dresser. She got this excceedingly odd look on her face and started giggling and said "Yo lavo su bikini, doctor" (literally "I wash your bikini" in the present tense). Then she gets all red in the face and does the "aw shucks" body language.

Wow. What is up with that? I finally simply say "Gracias". I suppose she was just embarrassed that her joke might not go over but I am here to say there was some kind of undertow. This is beginning to feel like a secret gag and there is a production crew hiding in the attic laughing there arses off. I am wondering where the hidden cameras are.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1341
RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/27/2007 6:00:05 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		..aaah...this was just stupid

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/27/2007 6:05:04 AM >

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 1342
New Aces - 8/27/2007 6:03:47 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		The aerial slaughter of the 12th elevates an RAF ace and removes a second from the scene.

It seems Sqdrn Leader Carey has nothing more to learn. I believe he shot down 8 in one day

If the RAF had spent more money on young Hoare's plane, he might still be alive too.





Attachment (1)

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/27/2007 6:10:42 AM >

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RE: New Aces - 8/27/2007 7:44:31 AM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline 		Did she ever work in Idaho?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1344
RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/27/2007 3:02:05 PM   
rtrapasso


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

..aaah...this was just stupid


Which one of the things i said?

Seriously, you might look into the possibility that gin and tonic causes pheromone release in males - it seems to be a common factor in your close encounters of the uncomfortable kind...

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1345
RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/27/2007 5:05:51 PM   
Canoerebel


Posts: 21100
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Status: offline 		This sounds like some kind of Before Action Report.

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 1346
RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/27/2007 6:06:18 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

Which one of the things i said?


I was trying to one-up your neutron joke with a neutrino joke. Something about gold chains and organized crime. It didn't work.

quote:

Seriously, you might look into the possibility that gin and tonic causes pheromone release in males - it seems to be a common factor in your close encounters of the uncomfortable kind...


The juniper berry is one of God's gifts to mankind so you might be onto something, but there is also the postiive wallet biopsy thing that makes me nervous.

Out of the blue, my brother called and without scarcely a hello proceded to tell me three horror stories of guys he worked with and
their near or real disasters with women. One guy nearly got murdered in a Spanish hotel and might have been if not for a timely warning from the sympathetic bellman. There was a decided stalker theme. The guy is either psychic or one of my kids talked to him.

Now I am off to work where 90% of the employees are female and the Human Resources folks like to stage a public execution of some wayward male employee every once in a while just to keep us in line.

Here is the sexual harassment video they showed at work.

http://ihor1.multiply.com/video/item/6

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 1347
RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/27/2007 7:47:06 PM   
VSWG


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quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

..aaah...this was just stupid


Which one of the things i said?

Seriously, you might look into the possibility that gin and tonic causes pheromone release in males - it seems to be a common factor in your close encounters of the uncomfortable kind...


Let's try a scientific approach: your housekeeper is from Yucatan - that's a malarial region, right? There's quinine in tonic, which is a known anti-malarial drug...

Any volunteers for a scientific series of tests involving gin tonics and Latinas?

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Post #: 1348
RE: 14.959 hrs to live - 8/27/2007 8:23:47 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VSWG


Let's try a scientific approach: your housekeeper is from Yucatan - that's a malarial region, right? There's quinine in tonic, which is a known anti-malarial drug...

Any volunteers for a scientific series of tests involving gin tonics and Latinas?


Hmmm? Interesting thesis. It did seem like that last bottle of Bombay Sapphire disappeared kinda fast. I thought my son stole it....but....

BTW..there is already a proven strategy for Latinas...body shots with Cazadores. This involves "humidifying" an exposed body part of one's body shot compatriot (generally the underside of the wrist or elbow flexion on the first round, perhaps moving to the neck or somewhere else on the second round NOTE: One should generally ask permission first to avoid embarassing social situations), then dusting with margarita salt, taking a shot of Cazadores, a squirt of lime and then licking off the salt. The compatriot is then granted similar access. For the second round, one may easily skip the Cazadores and switch to a house tequila to save a few bucks, but the application and removal of the salt is key. At this point, the neocortex has now been detached from the limbic system. A third round may seem like a good idea at the time but may well prove disastrous. In any event, a taxi ride is advised unless some poor schlub is the desingated driver.

Also note: Hirsute men may find this an unsuccessful technique.



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Post #: 1349
Oh yeah...the war - 8/27/2007 8:38:50 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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Status: offline 		...sorry about the auto-spamming. I will behave myself.






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< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/27/2007 8:41:15 PM >

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