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RE: Vestal...oh...what do you call those... - 9/25/2007 3:52:00 AM

rtrapasso

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

************Boileroom, USS Vestal, somewhere between Midway and Pensacola, Sept 26, 1942*******

CPO: Wait a minute. Do you mean to tell me that neither of you guys has been with a woman?

Seaman Tucci: <adjusts the flow of fuel oil into the boiler> No, chief. We made a pledge.

CPO: Pledge? What possessed to do a crazy ass thing like that?

Seaman Tucci: It's a tradition, chief.

CPO: Tradition, my ass. You are in the Navy. It's a tradition to get laid. How about you, Sylvio, you too?

Seaman Sylvio: Yes, chief. I am bound by my word to be chaste.

CPO: Chaste? It sounds like a disease. The rumor is there is a Jap sub out there stalking us. What if your number is up? Do you want to go to Davey Jones Locker without doing the horizontal samba? Is that what you want?

Seaman Tucci: Yes, chief. We have sworn to do so.

CPO: Bull. I don't want no "chaste" types working in my engine room. As soon as we get to XXXXXXX, I am going to get you two laid....on my dime. Tradition? Phht....

Dear Thread! Vestal Virgins!!

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 1471

RE: Vestal...oh...what do you call those... - 9/25/2007 3:56:44 AM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Oh, oh. We've gone back to that other subject again

Yes...mythology/ancient Roman history. Keep your mind out of the gutter there pal

(in reply to BrucePowers)

Post #: 1472

RE: Vestal...oh...what do you call those... - 9/25/2007 4:50:12 AM

rockmedic109

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quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

************Boileroom, USS Vestal, somewhere between Midway and Pensacola, Sept 26, 1942*******

CPO: Wait a minute. Do you mean to tell me that neither of you guys has been with a woman?

Seaman Tucci: <adjusts the flow of fuel oil into the boiler> No, chief. We made a pledge.

CPO: Pledge? What possessed to do a crazy ass thing like that?

Seaman Tucci: It's a tradition, chief.

CPO: Tradition, my ass. You are in the Navy. It's a tradition to get laid. How about you, Sylvio, you too?

Seaman Sylvio: Yes, chief. I am bound by my word to be chaste.

CPO: Chaste? It sounds like a disease. The rumor is there is a Jap sub out there stalking us. What if your number is up? Do you want to go to Davey Jones Locker without doing the horizontal samba? Is that what you want?

Seaman Tucci: Yes, chief. We have sworn to do so.

CPO: Bull. I don't want no "chaste" types working in my engine room. As soon as we get to XXXXXXX, I am going to get you two laid....on my dime. Tradition? Phht....

Dear Thread! Vestal Virgins!!

Or the pair found a brilliant way to get laid and have somebody else pay for it. Taking lessons from some M&M training institute no doubt.

(in reply to rtrapasso)

Post #: 1473

RE: Vestal...oh...what do you call those... - 9/25/2007 7:25:55 PM

BrucePowers

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Doh, I missed the Vestal part of that completely

< Message edited by BrucePowers -- 9/25/2007 7:27:02 PM >

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Post #: 1474

RE: Vestal...oh...what do you call those... - 9/25/2007 8:32:27 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: rockmedic109
Or the pair found a brilliant way to get laid and have somebody else pay for it. Taking lessons from some M&M training institute no doubt.

Wow. Someone hit you with the cynicism stick.

(in reply to rockmedic109)

Post #: 1475

Lashi - 9/25/2007 8:58:38 PM

Cap Mandrake

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**********10th Air Force HQ, Dacca, India, 19:40, Sept 26, 1942***********

Gen. Chennault: What did we get from the F-5A's?

XO: No Jap air cover encountered by the 24th FG, the Forts or the F-5A's. Looks like they have given up the field. BDA shows many damaged aircraft, both Tonys and Transports.

Gen. Chennault: There you have it. Your average Jap can't stand up to a fair fight. That is why we are going to win this thing. Did you hear me?

XO: Yes, sir, your average Jap. Got it.

Gen. Chennault: Good. I want that communicated to the 10th Air Force. You can quote me.

XO: Yes sir. 10th Air Force, sir.

Gen. Chennault: See to it!.....Weather?

XO: Monsoonal, sir.

Gen. Chennault: Mon-what? What the **** does that mean?

XO: Thunderstorms and rain, sir. Very heavy througout Eastern India and Burma.

Gen. Chennault: Are you patronizing me son?

XO: On, no sir.

Gen. Chennault: Very well. **** the weather. I want the P-40's to sweep Mandalay clear of opposition and the Forts to hit them hard in the afternoon. I want the mediums at Imphal to finish off Lashio. Maximal effort!

XO: Yes sir. I do wonder about the maximal effort, sir. The crews on the heavies are beat sir.

Gen. Chennault: <sets his jaw and stares directly at his XO. Both men understand the conversation is at an end>

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 9/25/2007 9:02:31 PM >

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Post #: 1476

MP for hire - 9/25/2007 10:00:24 PM

Cap Mandrake

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********House of Commons, London, Sept. 27, 1942*********

Member of Parliament, for Weston-super-Mare:...and I would remind my colleagues, before any action is taken on future orders for the Bristol Beaufighter of the absolutely critical role this airplane has played in the defence of India. Please, please do not act rashly....

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 9/25/2007 10:03:28 PM >

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Post #: 1477

RE: MP for hire - 9/26/2007 2:11:51 AM

Onime No Kyo

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Just finished catching up on the last 2 pages.

Tell me, Mandrake, has it crossed your mind to stock up on limes, just in case......or lay them out in a fashion of a trail that can be followed.....?

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(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 1478

Carpal envy - 9/26/2007 6:25:06 PM

Cap Mandrake

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*********USAAF 90th BS(M) infirmary, Camp Grenada, near Sydney, Sept 26, 1942********

Doc Daneka: <looking at wrist X-ray on viewbox> I'll be damned. Let's see..one..two..three...four..where the Hell is the navicular? Chief, you ever have any surgery?

Sir Mixalot: Su-ger--ree?

Doc Daneka: Yeah, surgery. You know, cut, cut <makes scissors with hand>

Sir Mixalot: Oh..yeah. Arrow shoot bottom.

Doc Daneka: But not your hand? <points to the Chief's hand>

Sir Mixalot: No..just make drink..shake..shake

Doc Daneka: Well, Chief. It's like this. I can't find your Goddamned navicular. I looked it up. Catch 22, page 12A...<pulls out dog-eared US Army publication> "...absence of any carpal bones is automatic grounds for medical discharge but the applicant must first demonstrate that the condition is duty related. It is the obligation of the applicant to provide normal X-rays which can be dated to some time before his enlistment and a statement from a treating physician who had been consulted before enlistment regarding a possible absence of one or more carpal bones. The statement must clearly state that no carpal bones were absent. However, the consultation of a physician on this matter before enlistment clearly indicates the applicant was concerned about the possibility. This will immediately invoke Catch 22 and will constitute grounds for denial."

Sir Mixalot: I no get it.

Doc Daneka: It's Catch 22, Chief. It's the US Army, Chief. There is nothing to get. In order to get out you have to show the absent carpal bone happened during your duty, but to show that it happened during your duty you have to show that you didn't have the problem before you enlisted, but in order to show you didn't have it before you enlisted you have to show you asked about it before, which means you were worried about it..so....it's Catch 22.

Sir Mixalot: That some catch Doc.

Doc Daneka: The best. Look..how about I put you on light duty for two weeks and we see. No shakey shakey, capisce?

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Post #: 1479

RE: Carpal envy - 9/26/2007 6:51:46 PM

Terminus

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It'll have to be unbelievably light duty to grow back a missing navicular...

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Post #: 1480

RE: Carpal envy - 9/26/2007 6:58:50 PM

BrucePowers

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Well, at least we got off the vestal virgin thing.

(in reply to Terminus)

Post #: 1481

RE: Carpal envy - 9/27/2007 3:09:25 AM

Onime No Kyo

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At least he doesnt have Mono.

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Post #: 1482

RE: Exclamation point...rejected - 9/27/2007 8:35:24 PM

Cap Mandrake

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I think the Allies just won the Battle for Myitkyina (more to come)

Meanwhile the exclamation point idea was rejected as was the back-up, the silhouette of HMS Prince of Wales. The former because there was said to inadequate substrate the second because it was stupid. Instead, I am to be surprised.

In the same email she professed her "exclusivity" to me...even though her divorce is "not final"

This struck me a somewhat incoherent from an internal consistency standpoint.

Beyond that, it seems more than a bit stalker-like.

She proposed coming down next weekend and meeting me at my place Friday night with some take-out Thai food so "we wouldn't waste any time going out to eat"

. This I would place into the plus column.

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)

Post #: 1483

RE: Exclamation point...rejected - 9/27/2007 11:05:27 PM

witpqs

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Backup suggestion: Aircraft Carrier silhouette (think 'carrier landing').

BTW, pop quiz: What is the least expensive way to relocate from Idaho to Southern California?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 1484

RE: Exclamation point...rejected - 9/27/2007 11:37:42 PM

Lecivius

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quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

Backup suggestion: Aircraft Carrier silhouette (think 'carrier landing').

BTW, pop quiz: What is the least expensive way to relocate from Idaho to Southern California?

Join the Navy

(in reply to witpqs)

Post #: 1485

RE: Exclamation point...rejected - 9/28/2007 12:26:04 AM

rtrapasso

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lecivius

quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

Backup suggestion: Aircraft Carrier silhouette (think 'carrier landing').

BTW, pop quiz: What is the least expensive way to relocate from Idaho to Southern California?

Join the Navy

i dunno - 4 years seems really expensive!!

(in reply to Lecivius)

Post #: 1486

RE: Exclamation point...rejected - 9/28/2007 12:31:05 AM

Lecivius

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Time consuming, yes. But you get paid for it

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Post #: 1487

RE: Exclamation point...rejected - 9/28/2007 12:53:59 AM

Onime No Kyo

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Sounds like Mandrake has grown quite fond of Thai food. So if she's "exclusive" to you, does that mean she's not stalking anyone else? Might be another plus in the column, youre likely saving some other poor sod from her.

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"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

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Post #: 1488

RE: Exclamation point...rejected - 9/28/2007 1:01:04 AM

bobogoboom

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She must be exceptionaly "talented" for you to keep talking to your staker. I don't know weather to congragulate you or

. Of course who am i to be talking i had an engaged lady at my house till 2am yesterday and was giving her back rubs. We would of had more fun but she wanted green tea or coffee of which i have neither(i don't even own a coffie maker).

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Member Texas Thread Mafia.

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(in reply to Onime No Kyo)

Post #: 1489

RE: Exclamation point...rejected - 9/28/2007 1:02:33 AM

bobogoboom

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Now for the more important thing........where is the update on BCI...............

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Post #: 1490

RE: Exclamation point...rejected - 9/28/2007 1:11:23 AM

Onime No Kyo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bobogoboom

She must be exceptionaly "talented" for you to keep talking to your staker. I don't know weather to congragulate you or . Of course who am i to be talking i had an engaged lady at my house till 2am yesterday and was giving her back rubs. We would of had more fun but she wanted green tea or coffee of which i have neither(i don't even own a coffie maker).

You cant seem to be able to spell "coffee", which is even more interesting.

ADD: I have to admit, though, I'm a bit puzzled about what tea and coffee have to do with fidelity.

< Message edited by Onime No Kyo -- 9/28/2007 1:14:17 AM >

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Post #: 1491

RE: Exclamation point...rejected - 9/28/2007 1:23:46 AM

bobogoboom

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

quote:

ORIGINAL: bobogoboom

She must be exceptionaly "talented" for you to keep talking to your staker. I don't know weather to congragulate you or . Of course who am i to be talking i had an engaged lady at my house till 2am yesterday and was giving her back rubs. We would of had more fun but she wanted green tea or coffee of which i have neither(i don't even own a coffie maker).

You cant seem to be able to spell "coffee", which is even more interesting.

ADD: I have to admit, though, I'm a bit puzzled about what tea and coffee have to do with fidelity.

Yeah me to. Her parting comment was if you want in my buisness you know what you need to have next time

I'm thinking i should stop talking to her...............but my second brain normaly overrules my first.

< Message edited by bobogoboom -- 9/28/2007 1:28:31 AM >

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Member Texas Thread Mafia.

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Post #: 1492

RE: Exclamation point...rejected - 9/28/2007 1:25:27 AM

Onime No Kyo

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Attaboy! Next time bring some limes.

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Post #: 1493

RE: Exclamation point...rejected - 9/28/2007 1:26:56 AM

bobogoboom

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Bad influence...................but i so enjoy being bad.

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I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that bar.
Member Texas Thread Mafia.

Sig art by rogueusmc

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Post #: 1494

RE: Exclamation point...rejected - 9/28/2007 1:36:44 AM

Onime No Kyo

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Who? Me?

Blame Mandrake.

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Post #: 1495

RE: Vestal...oh...what do you call those... - 9/28/2007 2:04:15 AM

Cap Mandrake

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*************10th Air Force HQ, Dacca, 18:40, Sept. 27, 1942**************

Gen. Chennault: Lashio?

XO: We had a gap in the weather over Imphal and 121 B-25's found there way over Lashio around 13:00. One 25 lost to AAA. Runway damage at Lashio estimated to be very heavy. No enemy CAP encountered.

Gen. Chennault: Superb. And Mandalay?

XO: 24th Fighter Group encountered no opposition in their sweep. The Forts had to be called off. You saw it sir. We couldn't see the end of the runway.

Gen. Chennault: Yes, I saw it. I don't like it but I saw it. ...They have no fighter cover over Mandalay. We need Mandalay shut down to permit the advance of 7th Armored and because I get no small measure of satisfaction out of beating the little yellow bastards...so we go back again tomorrow. Let's send the 25's from Imphal too. They Japs will be busy pciking up broken things at Lashio for a week or more. Got all that?

XO: Yes sir. Little yellow bastards. Skip Lashio, hit Mandalay. Roger that.

Gen. Chennault: That's what I want to hear. The 10th is starting to look like an Air Force. Nothing like blowing a bunch of Japs to Kingdom come to boost morale.

XO: Yes sir. Air Force, sir. Kingdom come, sir.

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Post #: 1496

RE: Exclamation point...rejected - 9/28/2007 2:36:32 AM

witpqs

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quote:

BTW, pop quiz: What is the least expensive way to relocate from Idaho to Southern California?

Answer: On Mandrake's dime!

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Post #: 1497

On retainer... - 9/28/2007 5:00:02 PM

Cap Mandrake

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Look guys. I hope I did not give the wrong impression by my postings.
One should not date or even exchange salacious emails with a married woman (who is not your wife) unless she has already retained a divorce lawyer...then it is OK.

BTW..does anyone think it would be a good idea to go to a Halloween party at her place in Idaho? I am thinking that is too ambitious without air cover, at least from the 4E's.

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Post #: 1498

RE: On retainer... - 9/28/2007 7:09:32 PM

BrucePowers

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Not to mention expensive

< Message edited by BrucePowers -- 9/28/2007 7:10:49 PM >

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Post #: 1499

RE: On retainer... - 9/28/2007 7:12:09 PM

USSAmerica

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Look guys. I hope I did not give the wrong impression by my postings.
One should not date or even exchange salacious emails with a married woman (who is not your wife) unless she has already retained a divorce lawyer...then it is OK.

BTW..does anyone think it would be a good idea to go to a Halloween party at her place in Idaho? I am thinking that is too ambitious without air cover, at least from the 4E's.

I would say it depends on whether "her place in Idaho" is where "her husband" still lives.

I would suggest a 500+ mile no fly zone around Idaho until "official separation" has taken place.

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