Cap Mandrake -> Magna Carta (8/10/2009 8:20:29 PM)
|
****Reparations Tribunal, Government of the Pillipines in Exile, Jolo, July 13, 1943****** Plaintiff's Atty: We call witness X. <There is a commotion in the front of the room as a witness is apparently seated behind a fabric screen to obsucre his or her identity. A bailiff approaches> Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Witness X: I do. <from behind screen> Tall, hirsute USAAF officer at the defendant's table: Is that you Jensen? Witness X: No. Tall, hirsute USAAF officer at the defendant's table: Then how did you know I was talking to you? Witness X: I just guessed. Tall, hirsute USAAF officer at the defendant's table: Listen, you little Quisling, I am the only reason you dont have a fist sized piece of plexiglass in your brain. I saved your life, pal.... Judge: <Bangs down gavel> ORDER! Defence counsel: Objection, Your Honor! My client has the right to confront his accuser. It is a right which derives from the Magna Carta, at the very birth of English jurisprudence. Judge: We aren't IN England, counselor. I think you have the wrong island. And why haven't you a uniform, sir? Defence counsel: I am a civilian, Your Honor. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esquire of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe. I have been retained by friends of Capt. Yossarian. Judge: There will be no mockery in my court, sir. Defence counsel: I'm afraid I don't understand, Your Honor. Judge: Your name. It is silly. You made it up. I hate silly names. Defence counsel: But Your Honor, it is my given name. Judge: What is your first name, then, Counselor. Defence counsel: <Quietly> Isadore, Your Honor. Judge: But that is a woman's name. Defence counsel: It is my maternal Grandfather's name, Your Honor. Judge: Then he had a silly name as well. Defence counsel: If you say so, Your Honor. Now, as to my objection? Judge: Oh, that is denied, of course...my people are not subjects of the King of England....and please keep your client quiet. The Plaintiff may now question the witness. ...
|
|
|
|