Cap Mandrake -> RE: Luzon (9/18/2009 3:58:41 PM)
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****Reparations Tribunal, Government of the Pillipines in Exile, Jolo, July 14, 1943****** I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Doctor, please tell the Court your opinion, in your own words, of Captain Yossarian's mental status. Doctor Daneeka: What do you mean, "in my own words"? Whose words was I going to use? I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: I mean simply that you should not use the words of those who have gone before you. Doctor Daneeka: But I may use English or Latin, for instance? I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Yes, yes, of course. Doctor Daneeka: To be precise, then, those words were invented by others before me, so I wouldn't be using my own words in that sense. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Yes, I understand Doctor, but what I meant is that you should use your own thoughts. Doctor Daneeka: Of course, I should use your own thoughts. Do you imagine I can read the mind of others? I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: No, I don't imagine that. Doctor Daneeka: Very well then. How am I to communicate my thoughts? I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Pardon me? Doctor Daneeka: My thoughts? How am I to communicate them? They are inside my head. I shall have to use the words of others who have gone before me to communicate my thoughts, shan't I? I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Oh Dear God! Judge: Isador! There shall be no taking the name of God in my courtroom. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: I am sorry, Your Honor. It won't happen again. Now, Doctor, I propose we start over. You may use your own words. You may use the words of others who have gone before. You may use Latin terms. You may use English words. You may use the Phoenecian alphabet, if needed. Is that clear? Doctor Daneeka: Yes, of course. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Splendid! Now, Doctor, can you tell the Court about your visit with Captain Yossarian on the day before the San Jose attack? Doctor Daneeka: But that is a patient, doctor confidentiality. I will need the Captain's permission. Is that OK with you, Yossarian? Tall, hirsute fellow:Sure Doc. Don't hold back. Doctor Daneeka: Hmm...well. Let's see. As I recall, he asked to be taken off flight duty. He said the Japs at San Jose were trying to kill him. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.:Was this the first time he asked to be taken off duty? Doctor Daneeka:Oh, no. He makes that request all the time. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Now Doctor, I am going to ask a difficult question. I want you to answer carefully. ...Don't you think it is crazy? Doctor Daneeka: The war, you mean? Oh, absolutely. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: No, I mean, Captain Yossarian's idea that the Japs are trying to kill HIM? Opposing Counsel: Objection, Tio! Counsel is trying to establish an insanity defence. This is a civil proceeding. Judge:You have an excellent point, Carlito, but I am going to allow it just out of curiosity. You may proceed, Doctor. Doctor Daneeka: Thank you, Your Honor, I USED to think that, but I can now see his point. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: But the Japs aren't shooting at Captain Yossarian, they are shooting at his plane. Doctor Daneeka: Yes, but he is IN the plane. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: But they are shooting at all the planes. Doctor Daneeka: Sometimes they miss his plane. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Doctor, that's crazy! Doctor Daneeka: You haven't been in the 90th Bombardment Squadron as long as I. Crazy is relative. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: So you are saying OTHERS are crazy in the 90th Bombardment Squadron. Doctor Daneeka: Oh, yes. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Who? Doctor Daneeka: All, I think...yes. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Doctor, you mean you are letting crazy crews fly B-25's on missions? Doctor Daneeka: Oh, yes. All the time. they would have to be crazy. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Why don't you take them off duty? Doctor Daneeka: Well, they have to ask, of course. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: What about Capt. Yossarian? He asked didn't he? Doctor Daneeka: Ah, but when he asks, he reveals hismself to be sane. Catch 22............
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