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Cap Mandrake -> Bolo boy (8/28/2007 5:26:05 AM)

*************Oval Office, White House, Sept 15, 1942*************


<A tall man with patrician features stands behind a beautiful desk first acquired by Millard Fillmore. Admiral King and Genral Marshall pause respectfully at the double, hand-carved mohagany doors.>

Patrician Guy: .....One hundred twenty two, one hundred twenty three, one hundred twenty four..

Gen. Marshall: Mr. President sir, it's time for your Presidential Daily Briefing.

Patrician Guy: <flubs bolo streak> DAMNIT! That was a White House RECORD! <his mood changes immediately as Ritalin is not yet in widespread use> Oh, all right, come in. Say have you guys seen the new intern? Wowser! This is a cool gig.

Gen. Marshall: <he and Admiral King move toward the erstwhile POTUS> Sir, I have good news! Marine and US Army units have captured Eastern Island today with the surrender or elimination of all Japanese defenders.

Patrician Guy: Whoa, that is waaay cool! What about all those statues?

Gen. Marshall: Statues sir?

Patrician Guy: Yeah, you know. <he stands rigidly upright, arms at his side, making a frowning face> The lava rock, why is my head so square and my legs buried in the ground guys.

Gen. Marshall: Oh, I believe you me Easter Island, sir?

Patrician Guy: Isn't that what you said. I had no idea the Japs had got so far, the little yellow bastards.

Gen. Marshall: Oh, no sir, I said EASTERN ISLAND. It's part of Midway Atoll.

Patrician Guy: Wait, it IS part of Midway or it ISN'T at all.

Gen. Marshall: It IS an atoll, sir.

Patrician Guy: Look, IS it or ISN'T it?

Gen. Marshall: Is it or isn't it what sir?

Patrician Guy: Oy, my head hurts. Did I tell you guys these Scotch bottles are magic? <grabs a 200 year old crystal decanter>

Gen. Marshall: Magic, sir?

Patrician Guy: Yeah, watch this. <he empties the decanter into his glass then carries it over to a small cherry wood cart> If I go to the can or something the Godamned thing will be full when I get out, but if I jsut watch it..nothing. Damned amazing, if you ask me.

Adm. King: Sir, perhaps I should give you the Naval SitRep?

Patrician Guy: Oh, please don't. I HATE exercise.

Adm. King: Exercise, sir?

Patrician Guy: Yeah, Sit Rep. Sit, stand, sit , stand..blah, blah blah

Adm. King: Oh, no sir. I meant the situation in the Pacific.

Patrician Guy: Well, speakee de Enleesh. How is the Bee?

Adm. King: The Bee, sir

Patrician Guy: Yeah, the Bee, the Bee. The insect boat.

Adm. King: Oh, you mean the Wasp sir. She is safely at Pearl again. The Japs tried to intercept her but she hid out at Midway Atoll.

Patrician Guy: Oh, for the love of Christ! Not you too?...




Terminus -> RE: Bolo boy (8/28/2007 12:49:04 PM)

Good Lord![:D][:D][:D]



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Frauline Tatarin (8/28/2007 5:16:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Naskra

Is it true Heisenberg ran over and killed Schrodinger's cat?


We may never know. It seems probable though.



rtrapasso -> RE: Frauline Tatarin (8/28/2007 7:27:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Naskra

Is it true Heisenberg ran over and killed Schrodinger's cat?


We may never know. It seems probable though.


Heisenberg was looking at his speedometer, so he didn't really know if he hit the cat - it hasn't been seen since, and it is not known if it is alive or dead... [:'(]



Cap Mandrake -> Sodium Bar (8/28/2007 8:30:35 PM)

********Sodium Bar, Near Lawrence Livermore, Nightime, I have no idea what day************

Na-24: Man, I am not feeling so hot all of a sudden. I am going to hit the can.

Na-23: Roger that. I will entertain myself for a bit.

<Na-24 heads off to the can. "Disco Man" comes on the sound system and an annoying mirrored ball begins to spin above. Shortly after he disappears into the can, there is a flash of blue light and the room warms imperceptibly. Nobody takes notice. Shortly afterward 24 heads back to the bar. He slaps 23 on the shoulder>

24: Bartender! Another round here please.

Na-23: <turns to face his benefactor> Do I know you?

24: What do you mean, 23? Did you have another round wihile I was in the can? You need to pace yourself.

Na-23: 24?

24: Well...yeah.

Na-23: O Jesus, man. It happened. Didn't you look in the mirror when you were washing your hands with the non-aqueous hand wash?

24: Well, no. I didn't wash my hands.

Na-23: Jesus, man. Why didn't you tell me that before I ordered the three-bean dip. Anyway. It's like this, dood. I am pretty sure you are Magnesium. Beta decay. It had to happen.

Mg-24: Oh crap! But I had at least 14 hrs left.

Na-23: Man, it don't work that way.

Mg-24: But I don't want to be Magnesium!

Na-23: Hey, cheer up. Maybe you will decay to Neon, that would be cool. Or better yet, even Oxygen. I hear Oxygen bars are the bees knees. Here, let me check <pulls out a pocket protector with decay chains>. Let's see, Magnesium....24...oh!

Mg-24: What? What's wrong?

Na-23: You are stable man. Magnesium it is.

Mg-24: Oh Hell!

Bartender: <approaches with two shot glasses, then stops abruptly> Hey, wait a minute! We don't serve his kind here. <points at Mg-24> He will have to leave.

Mg-24: <turns and leaves silently, head bowed>

Na-23: Stay in touch, man. And lay off the smoking if you know what's good for you.<turns to bartender> Man, that is way harsh.

Bartender: Company policy. Not my call. No divalent cations here. They hog all the monovalent anions. They aren't happy until they have two each, or, even worse, a whole posse of Sulfur and Oxygen. Damn preverts. Is that what you want?

Na-23: No, I see your point. I'll take both shots. <turns to scan the bar and immediately fixes his gaze on a hot Chlorine atom coming his way. She has a cool horizontal line that hovers above her. Quietly he asks himself> What is up with that? <as she approaches he feels a strange attraction. Even his barstool begins to tip>.....



Terminus -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/28/2007 8:32:48 PM)

Oh, God... He's gone Periodic Table on us...[:D]



Onime No Kyo -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/29/2007 2:10:55 PM)

Whew! Thank Thread for that Mandrake. Most of that last joke went completely over my head. Also, I am happy to report that although I've heard about Schroedinger's Cat, I dont think I ever really understood it, except, maybe, when reduced to its simplest terms. That means I'm not as big a geek as I was afraid I was. Woohoo! [:D]



rtrapasso -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/29/2007 3:45:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

********Sodium Bar, Near Lawrence Livermore, Nightime, I have no idea what day************

Na-24: Man, I am not feeling so hot all of a sudden. I am going to hit the can.

Na-23: Roger that. I will entertain myself for a bit.

<Na-24 heads off to the can. "Disco Man" comes on the sound system and an annoying mirrored ball begins to spin above. Shortly after he disappears into the can, there is a flash of blue light and the room warms imperceptibly. Nobody takes notice. Shortly afterward 24 heads back to the bar. He slaps 23 on the shoulder>

24: Bartender! Another round here please.

Na-23: <turns to face his benefactor> Do I know you?

24: What do you mean, 23? Did you have another round wihile I was in the can? You need to pace yourself.

Na-23: 24?

24: Well...yeah.

Na-23: O Jesus, man. It happened. Didn't you look in the mirror when you were washing your hands with the non-aqueous hand wash?

24: Well, no. I didn't wash my hands.

Na-23: Jesus, man. Why didn't you tell me that before I ordered the three-bean dip. Anyway. It's like this, dood. I am pretty sure you are Magnesium. Beta decay. It had to happen.

Mg-24: Oh crap! But I had at least 14 hrs left.

Na-23: Man, it don't work that way.

Mg-24: But I don't want to be Magnesium!

Na-23: Hey, cheer up. Maybe you will decay to Neon, that would be cool. Or better yet, even Oxygen. I hear Oxygen bars are the bees knees. Here, let me check <pulls out a pocket protector with decay chains>. Let's see, Magnesium....24...oh!

Mg-24: What? What's wrong?

Na-23: You are stable man. Magnesium it is.

Mg-24: Oh Hell!

Bartender: <approaches with two shot glasses, then stops abruptly> Hey, wait a minute! We don't serve his kind here. <points at Mg-24> He will have to leave.

Mg-24: <turns and leaves silently, head bowed>

Na-23: Stay in touch, man. And lay off the smoking if you know what's good for you.<turns to bartender> Man, that is way harsh.

Bartender: Company policy. Not my call. No divalent cations here. They hog all the monovalent anions. They aren't happy until they have two each, or, even worse, a whole posse of Sulfur and Oxygen. Damn preverts. Is that what you want?

Na-23: No, I see your point. I'll take both shots. <turns to scan the bar and immediately fixes his gaze on a hot Chloride atom coming his way. She has a cool horizontal line that hovers above her. Quietly he asks himself> What is up with that? <as she approaches he feels a strange attraction. Even his barstool begins to tip>.....


[:D] [:D] [:D]

i wonder if that Chlorine is from Idaho??? [:'(]



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/29/2007 11:29:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

i wonder if that Chlorine is from Idaho??? [:'(]


It just occured to me I said "Chloride" instead of "Chlorine". You have it right.

You had to mention Idaho, didn't you? I just got an email from stalker-girl. She informed me that with the aid of picture of me from her cell phone, a hot tub and a bottle of Kentucky confectionary, she indulged in some "me time". [:-] She also said she had a new $60 wax and a plane ticket for the 5th [X(] She also reports she is going to buy some "stuff" down here because she doesn't want TSA looking through her luggage. Maybe I should just put a big ring in my nose to aid in the "leading around".

Help!..Mommy!

PS...I think my housekeeper felt bad about the bikini crack (joke) because she bought me a pair of really nice crystal beer glasses. Very nice gesture. Still, I hope she expects no quid pro quo in services.



*************10th USAAF Air Force HQ, Dacca, 19:40, Sept 15, 1942*************


Gen. Chennault: What is the latest from the Lashio raid?

CO, 5th G(H): We lost 10 Forts, sir, 6 to triple A and the Tonys and 4 on the trip back due to battle damage or weather.


Gen. Chennault: And the Japs.


CO, 5th G(H): 6 or 7 Tonys in the air, an unkown number, perhaps as much as ten, on the ground. BDA from the Lightnings showed nearly 50 bomb craters on the runway...........




witpqs -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/29/2007 11:48:26 PM)

Maybe they're gonna fight over you. Think 'mud wrestling'! [:D]



Terminus -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/29/2007 11:53:33 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

You had to mention Idaho, didn't you? I just got an email from stalker-girl. She informed me that with the aid of picture of me from her cell phone, a hot tub and a bottle of Kentucky confectionary, she indulged in some "me time".


I think that qualifies as Too Much Information...[X(][X(]



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/30/2007 12:11:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus


I think that qualifies as Too Much Information...[X(][X(]



Yes..that was definitely "oversharing". I think it was meant as a psyops attack. Of course, I repeated it, but second-hand "oversharing" is not as bad.[;)]



T Rav -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/30/2007 2:31:07 AM)

I'm torn. Should you spend time on the updates or extra-curicular activities? OK, both it is then.

I wish you well in your endevours, but you'll need to signal us somehow if you need a rescue team on the the 6th...

Good Luck,
T Rav



BrucePowers -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/30/2007 3:55:31 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: T Rav

I'm torn. Should you spend time on the updates or extra-curicular activities? OK, both it is then.

I wish you well in your endevours, but you'll need to signal us somehow if you need a rescue team on the the 6th...

Good Luck,
T Rav


Boy, am I glad I live in Florida[:D]



bradfordkay -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/30/2007 6:38:06 AM)

If you're lucky, the visitor from idaho won't make it past the airport restroom... [;)]



Onime No Kyo -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/30/2007 2:08:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

If you're lucky, the visitor from idaho won't make it past the airport restroom... [;)]


Only if she's a senator.



Onime No Kyo -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/30/2007 2:09:54 PM)

Well? Doesnt anyone want to explain Schroedinger's Cat to me? Do you know a cry for help when you hear one? [:D]



Onime No Kyo -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/30/2007 2:11:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus


I think that qualifies as Too Much Information...[X(][X(]



Yes..that was definitely "oversharing". I think it was meant as a psyops attack. Of course, I repeated it, but second-hand "oversharing" is not as bad.[;)]


Ive got a sureshot remidy for you. Make the sex really bad. [:D]



witpqs -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/30/2007 5:21:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Well? Doesnt anyone want to explain Schroedinger's Cat to me? Do you know a cry for help when you hear one? [:D]


It has to do with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle (the act of observing something changes it, first postulated with respect to the position of electrons about an atomic nucleus). Schroedinger explained it with a thought experiment involving his cat. It went sorta like this:

His cat is in a box. There are two possible states for the cat, alive or dead. If you lift up the box to examine the cat, you will cause the cat to assume one of the two states. As long as the box is left in place, the cat has a probability of being alive and a probability of being dead, but it is neither.

So, it's really a dead cat joke.



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/30/2007 5:27:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

If you're lucky, the visitor from idaho won't make it past the airport restroom... [;)]


[:D] Presumably, she is flying in to John Wayne Airport. I think if she tries the two-stall toe tap there, with a picture of John Wayne in the lobby, they will shoot her and then search her luggage.



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/30/2007 5:29:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: T Rav

I'm torn. Should you spend time on the updates or extra-curicular activities? OK, both it is then.

I wish you well in your endevours, but you'll need to signal us somehow if you need a rescue team on the the 6th...

Good Luck,
T Rav


Thanks for the positive vibes. The updates are caught up with the game. We are waiting on the Sept. 17 turn to come back.



Cap Mandrake -> Be the (air) force (8/30/2007 5:40:06 PM)

**************Myitkinia Air Field, 07:30, Sept 16, 1942**********

Sqd Ldr Edge, RAF (No. 605 Sqdrn) checks the manifold pressure of his idling Hurricane II and glances to his right in a pouring rain. His wingman, Flt. Lt, Stephen is right where he should be. Visibility over the runway is less than 200 m. He gives his wingman the thumbs up sign and the Flt. Lt returns it with a knowing smile. Together, they pull down their blindfolds and begin to run up their engines.



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Be the (air) force (8/30/2007 5:49:06 PM)

Here are the air losses for the 16th. 7 Tonys are shot down and one each of Hurricane and Spitfire. Nothing shows on the combat text file or on the replay. Hmmm?

I think this is blindfold combat with Tonys flying LRCAP over Myitkinia. The RAF pilots "feel" the kill, but because they can't "see" it, it's not on the official report.

[image]local://upfiles/7983/511DC65064994EDB8917E8D13CD55C3F.jpg[/image]



BrucePowers -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/30/2007 6:40:23 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

If you're lucky, the visitor from idaho won't make it past the airport restroom... [;)]


[:D] Presumably, she is flying in to John Wayne Airport. I think if she tries the two-stall toe tap there, with a picture of John Wayne in the lobby, they will shoot her and then search her luggage.



Now, I always use John Wayne airport. (It's close to where I want to go). Do I need to switch back to LAX to protect myself[:D]



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/30/2007 11:14:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Now, I always use John Wayne airport. (It's close to where I want to go). Do I need to switch back to LAX to protect myself[:D]


As general rule, you should always use protection. In particular if you see a good-looking 30 ish woman with auburn hair ...I'm guessing...wearing one of those impractical French-maid outfits..I would run like Hell.



Cap Mandrake -> Party time in Little China (8/30/2007 11:22:37 PM)

Another attack on Myitkinia is repulsed after considerable sacrifice of Allied medium bombers on Tac Air missions over the area (19 x Wellington, 11 x B-25). 9 RAF fighters lost to 5 confirmed Tony's, though there will doubtless be operational losses for the Tonys.

[image]local://upfiles/7983/B15B375634224B169F5615FDAD0C7F70.jpg[/image]



VSWG -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/30/2007 11:26:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Well? Doesnt anyone want to explain Schroedinger's Cat to me? Do you know a cry for help when you hear one? [:D]

This should explain everything. [;)]

[image]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/5b/Schroedingerscat2.jpg/300px-Schroedingerscat2.jpg[/image]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat

I think Nik would gladly contribute his cats for this experiment...



BrucePowers -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/31/2007 6:59:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Now, I always use John Wayne airport. (It's close to where I want to go). Do I need to switch back to LAX to protect myself[:D]


As general rule, you should always use protection. In particular if you see a good-looking 30 ish woman with auburn hair ...I'm guessing...wearing one of those impractical French-maid outfits..I would run like Hell.



Okay, I have a better idea. I will start using Long Beach Airport (it's closer to my hotel anyway).[:D]



bobogoboom -> RE: Sodium Bar (8/31/2007 8:49:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus


I think that qualifies as Too Much Information...[X(][X(]



Yes..that was definitely "oversharing". I think it was meant as a psyops attack. Of course, I repeated it, but second-hand "oversharing" is not as bad.[;)]


Ive got a sureshot remidy for you. Make the sex really bad. [:D]

He's a man isn't that normal.



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Bolo boy (8/31/2007 11:32:31 PM)

Hey, wait a minute. I didn't consent to anything...yet. What I really need is someone to tell me to "just say no" in case she gets past the Homeowner's Assn Frontier Forces or shows up at work.

Perhaps if I let it slip I was playing an on-line wargame........?



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