24th Fighter Group (Full Version)

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tabpub -> 24th Fighter Group (11/26/2007 3:29:06 AM)

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Moondawggie -> RE: Sgt. Bonebreak: (11/27/2007 7:12:15 AM)

Mandrake, I hope those Brits fight to the last man protecting that amazing paleontolgy find that has delayed their advance to support the Mandalay/Myitkyina railway operation. I'd hate to see those invaluable fossils fall into IJA/IJN control.

Say, just how many victory points does one get for each dinosaur fossil in one's possession? The manual seems to be a little vague on this point...

As for Chennault, forget the Ritalin. It's a kid's drug. Try adding some Bourbon and Branch instead, interspersed with lots of big cigars; the results can be amazing---just ask Adolph Galland who had to deal with it in another hemisphere.

(At least that way Chennault would morph into a Curtis Lemay clone who unleashes holy hell on that poor forgotten theater.)

Good luck with stalker girl...[:)]




Cap Mandrake -> DSO, 2nd bar (11/27/2007 9:51:25 PM)

*****Sqdrn Ldr's Quaters, No. 155 Sdrn., Myitkyina, 05:30, October 30, 1942******

Sqdrn. Ldr. D. Astin: <enters tent and takes off cap and throws it to the other man in the tent> Harold, you'd best head down to the briefing room. We need to finalize the plans for the move to Yunan. The Yanks we are replacing are due here shortly.

Sqdrn. Ldr. H. Astin:You are right, David. I'll push off in a minute but I was just reading the kind letter from Brigadier Farley . He just recommended us for a 2nd bar. Listen to this: <begins reading> "Sqdrn Ldr Astin is without a doubt the most energetic man I have ever met. His ability to lead his men by example is without peer. His ability to appear fresh and optimitstic even after 24 hrs without sleep is truly astounding....."

Sqdrn. Ldr. D. Astin: Splendid! Say, don't forget to close the tent flap, the sun will be coming up soon and I am fagged out.




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One more kill and they will be an ace!



Moondawggie -> RE: DSO, 2nd bar (11/28/2007 5:41:36 AM)

By the same logic, then wouldn't L. Swales and B. Swales (with 3 kills each) already be a "collective" ace as well? [:)]

Of course, I realize that "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Winston Churchill) 

Who knows---maybe different rules apply to SLDRs and FLTs. 

I'd get those Yanks in there ASAP, freeing up those doughty to Brits argue over their relative positions in Blake's Peerage...



HMS Resolution -> RE: DSO, 2nd bar (11/28/2007 9:48:30 PM)

That's actually an Emerson quote, not a Churchill quote.



Moondawggie -> RE: DSO, 2nd bar (11/29/2007 5:32:27 AM)

I stand corrected! 


A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.

[image]http://www.quotationspage.net/icon_info.gif[/image][image]http://www.quotationspage.net/icon_plus.gif[/image][image]http://www.quotationspage.net/icon_email.gif[/image][image]http://www.quotationspage.net/icon_blank.gif[/image]Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882), Self-Reliance
But so what?  The narrative was true; we just got the facts wrong.  (Jonathan Alter, 2007)




Cap Mandrake -> Waste, fraud and abuse....well, waste at least (11/29/2007 8:02:59 PM)

**********Galley, USS Boise, Perth Harbor, October 31, 1942************


<3 sailors stand in front of a giant pantry with clipbaords>

Seaman Able: How about Baker, he is pretty much wasted? <laughter from the other side of the pantry>

Seaman Baker: Screw you, Able.

Seaman Able: You wish, Baker. <more laughter from the pantry>

Seaman Baker: Chief, Able is making offensive sexual banter. I've already asked him to stop before.

Chief: If you two girls don't shut up, offensive sexual banter will be the least of your problems. Get to work! The Captain wants to get the spoilage report to the task force commander by 14:00. Ok, here is what I have: Potato 52 lbs, bread 11 loaves with mold, 3 with weevils, oranges 22....................




timtom -> RE: Waste, fraud and abuse....well, waste at least (11/29/2007 8:16:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

**********Galley, USS Boise, Perth Harbor, October 31, 1942************

<3 sailors stand in front of a giant pantry with clipbaords>

Seaman Able: How about Baker, he is pretty much wasted? <laughter from the other side of the pantry>

Seaman Baker: Screw you, Able.

Seaman Able: You wish, Baker. <more laughter from the pantry>

Seaman Baker: Chief, Able is making offensive sexual banter. I've already asked him to stop before.

Chief: If you two girls don't shut up, offensive sexual banter will be the least of your problems. Get to work! The Captain wants to get the spoilage report to the task force commander by 14:00. Ok, here is what I have: Potato 52 lbs, bread 11 loaves with mold, 3 with weevils, oranges 22....................



And there's me thinking that there's no spoilage in the USN, just "Ration, USMC, Reserved for the Consumption by, Only".





BrucePowers -> RE: Waste, fraud and abuse....well, waste at least (11/30/2007 1:18:16 AM)

Me thinks I task force may be getting ready to sail[:)]



Cap Mandrake -> Ellis Island (11/30/2007 8:45:37 PM)

***********10th US Army Air Force HQ, Dacca, November 1, 1942************



Gen. Chennault: Colonel, when I walked across the parade ground this morn, I saw a patch of blue in the sky. Please explain to me why my planes aren't up in the air killing Japs.


Deputy CO: Sir, we lost quite a few birds and had just as many damaged. We have just finished repainting and calibrating the replacement aircraft and are about 60% there on repairs to the damaged birds. There is something else. It's morale, sir.


Gen. Chennault: MORALE!? That is bull ****, Colonel. The best remedy for poor morale is a boot up their ass. <seems to reconsider> Ah, Hell. I promised the Doc. What about a morale officer? Don't we have a Goddamned morale officer?


Deputy CO: Yes sir. That would be Major Domo, sir. <points in the direction of an implausibly young-looking officer, who quickly develops a remarkable pallor..no it's more than pallor, he is positivley post-mortem in appearance>


Gen. Chennault: <after a 1 1/2 second pause he can no longer contain himself> Well, stand up son! We have a Goddamned war to fight. Are you pulling my leg, son? Is that really your Goddamned name?


Major Domo: <Now standing ramrod straight> No sir.


Gen. Chennault: Well, what the Hell IS your name?


Major Domo: Oh, no sir, I mean, yes sir. That is my name and no, I wasn't pulling your leg sir.


Gen. Chennault: Well, it's a stupid name. I hate stupid names.


Major Domo: Well, sir, it's short for Dombrowski, sir. My grandfather shortened it to Domo when he landed on Ellis Ilsnad because it sounded Polish.


Gen. Chennault: What do you mean it SOUNDED Polish. It IS Polish.


Major Domo: Yes sir.


Gen. Chennault: Well change it! I am not having an officer in my command by the name of Major Domo. It's stupid. I don't like stupid names.


Major Domo: Yes sir!


Gen. Chennault: Good. now please tell me you plans for improving morale at 10th Air Force.


Major Domo: <now becomes more animated, the blood returning to his young Polish face> Yes sir! We've had a bit of spectacular luck. I've just received a large USO shipment. We have 10 brand new Parchisi boards and.....




Terminus -> RE: Ellis Island (11/30/2007 8:49:45 PM)

Wonder how many of his brand new Parchisi boards can be rammed up Major Domo's backside by the good General...[:D]



BrucePowers -> RE: Ellis Island (12/1/2007 1:40:15 AM)

What about a good John Wayne movie...Flying Tigers maybe [:D]



Onime No Kyo -> RE: Ellis Island (12/1/2007 2:05:30 AM)

What would that do for morale? [&:]



Cap Mandrake -> Chain of Command (12/2/2007 12:32:06 AM)

*********Aboard HMS Formidable, flaghsip of TF 1065, Perth Harbour, 15:30, October 31, 1942***********

Lt. Botulinum: <enters and salutes his superior, then hands over a document> Sir, spoilage figures for the entire task force.

Capt. La T. Bisset, RN: Thank you, Lt. <looks over the list..."bread 413 loaves, tubers (all types) 212, rum 493 bottles.."> Hmmmm? The rum figure looks high. I thought I ordered the replenishment contract with M & M Sea Catering cancelled? I cannot bring myself to trust that man. Make sure that has been taken care of then get this to Eastern Fleet ASAP by shortwave.....



Cap Mandrake -> RE: DSO, 2nd bar (12/2/2007 12:34:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

By the same logic, then wouldn't L. Swales and B. Swales (with 3 kills each) already be a "collective" ace as well? [:)]

They are not identical twins. Do I have to explain everything around here? [:'(][;)]



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Sgt. Bonebreak: (12/2/2007 12:36:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

Good luck with stalker girl...[:)]



I invited her to the company "Holiday" party tonight. We'll see if she can get to the bathroom and back without getting stabbed.



BrucePowers -> RE: Sgt. Bonebreak: (12/2/2007 12:57:22 AM)

What, she's back in town[X(][8D]

I thought she was in Idaho.

And while I'm asking, what of the homeowners association?



bobogoboom -> RE: Sgt. Bonebreak: (12/2/2007 1:41:46 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

Good luck with stalker girl...[:)]



I invited her to the company "Holiday" party tonight. We'll see if she can get to the bathroom and back without getting stabbed.

[&:] why would someone want to stab her?



Moondawggie -> RE: Sgt. Bonebreak: (12/2/2007 5:34:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

Good luck with stalker girl...[:)]



I invited her to the company "Holiday" party tonight. We'll see if she can get to the bathroom and back without getting stabbed.


[&:] why would someone want to stab her?

Bobo, for the simple reason that Mandrake must be an incredibly attractive, desirable  "hunk o' sizzlin' junk!" 

After all, he plays WITP, doesn't he? 

Obviously, all of the single, Southern California blonde MAs and RNs and NPs that Mandrake works with are gonna be after him at the company party, and they don't want any unlocal Bosie Babe moving into their turf.  Stabbing is a realistic concern once the champagne flow for an hour or two...

BTW, what is happening in Burma, Mandrake? 



Cap Mandrake -> Up, up the chain of command (12/4/2007 3:45:37 AM)

*************Eastern Fleet HQ, Trincomalee, Ceylon, 18:20, October 31, 1942*********

Admiral Somerville picks up a form from his inbox. It reads "Eastern Fleet Spoilage Report, October 31, 1942". He scans down the list until one item catches his trained eye.

"What on Earth?! 2,489 cans of salted sea urchin roe! The Royal Navy could replace a whole squadron of Stringbags for the cost of that. Bloody war profiteers! <calls out to his secretary> Drummond, get this to SEAC ASAP and prepare to take a memo regarding inventory control of salted sea urchin roe...no wait...I've just thought of something. Get me Phillips on the phone. See if he isn't too busy with his restaurant in Bombay to come down and help with this.



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Up, up the chain of command (12/4/2007 3:58:03 AM)

Ever wonder why the "Calculating Spoilage" step takes so long?


************SEAC HQ, Ledo, India, 19:20: October 31, 1942************

General Pownall scans a daily inventory, a growing frown on his face.


General Pownall: These Plaster of Paris numbers are bad enough, but, honestly, I am at a loss to understand how 3 Catalina aircraft could spoil in one 24 hr. period.

Major Bean-Counter: It's the humdidity, sir.

General Pownall: Bah. And look at these potato figures. These figures from one day could dwarf the Irish potato famine. This MUST be in error. I shant countenance sloth in my command. Send these back. I want a complete reinventory by 23:00 tonight. Every unit, every ship, every squadron.....




USSAmerica -> RE: Up, up the chain of command (12/4/2007 2:20:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Ever wonder why the "Calculating Spoilage" step takes so long?


************SEAC HQ, Ledo, India, 19:20: October 31, 1942************

General Pownall scans a daily inventory, a growing frown on his face.


General Pownall: These Plaster of Paris numbers are bad enough, but, honestly, I am at a loss to understand how 3 Catalina aircraft could spoil in one 24 hr. period.

Major Bean-Counter: It's the humdidity, sir.

General Pownall: Bah. And look at these potato figures. These figures from one day could dwarf the Irish potato famine. This MUST be in error. I shant countenance sloth in my command. Send these back. I want a complete reinventory by 23:00 tonight. Every unit, every ship, every squadron.....




Cap, it may be time to invest in a faster computer. [:D]



Terminus -> RE: Up, up the chain of command (12/4/2007 2:33:17 PM)

And a dictionary... What's "humdidity"?[:'(]



rtrapasso -> RE: Up, up the chain of command (12/4/2007 2:50:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

And a dictionary... What's "humdidity"?[:'(]



It's a word used to keep the Spelling Police occupied and feeling useful!! [:'(]



Grotius -> RE: Up, up the chain of command (12/4/2007 3:36:24 PM)

"Humdidity" is the past tense of "Humdoity," of course.



bobogoboom -> RE: Up, up the chain of command (12/4/2007 9:43:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso


quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

And a dictionary... What's "humdidity"?[:'(]



It's a word used to keep the Spelling Police occupied and feeling useful!! [:'(]

Cause they already gave up on fixing the spelling on the thread[:D]



Moondawggie -> RE: Up, up the chain of command (12/5/2007 7:14:49 AM)

"Humdidity?"

"Humdoity?"

Hey, whatever it is, it absolutely ruins PBYs within 8 hours
if they are located in the Eastern hemisphere.  We're talking hangar queens only, here. 

You can look it up!

It's in the M&M Enterprises "Maintenance and Salvage/Scrap Sales Manual, version 1942.10"

The reference has been preserved for all rin the "Milo Minderbinder Almost Presidential Library Official Records,"
convieniently located in beautiful Rio Linda, California, Milo's adopted birthplace.

BTW, don't hesitate to pick up lunch when you visit there at the nearby "M&M KFC/MacDonald's/Taco Bell/
Burger King/Arbys/Dominos/Pizza Hut/Wendys Galleria"...It's always 2 for the price of 1 on Tuesdays! 






Cap Mandrake -> RE: Up, up the chain of command (12/6/2007 12:47:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: USS America

Cap, it may be time to invest in a faster computer. [:D]



As Admiral Someriville might say...."BUGGER". No wonder nobody thought it was funny. Am I the only one waiting for the damnable "Calculating spoilage" step? I am so humiliated, I am going to put on my cool Members Only jacket and go out clubbing.


In reality I do have a faster computer (dual core, gigs of ram..yada, yada, yada) but I cant find my WITP disk so I cant move the game to the new computer



Cap Mandrake -> Bryn Mawr and a carpet sample (12/6/2007 1:17:08 AM)

Acting Ad Hoc Pro Tempore Editor's Note: Greetings all. Allow me to introduce myself. I am the fabled Egyptian Girl, not the two-time winner of the Santa Anita Handicap, but the graduate of Bryn Mawr hired by Gen. Marshall. Nobody here on the editorial staff wanted to take over the position since the disappearnce of Gen. Marshall and two of his colleagues. Everyone thought it would be OK for me to take the job because it is generally agreed that I am very attractive to men, especially since I had my upper lip waxed and I am a skilled belly dancer.

A number of readers have inquired about disappearances of the editorial staff. For now, the best we can say is the disapperances are accompanied by a loud "POOF" sound and seem to have the common theme that the Editors involved were correcting a grammatical or spelling errors at the time of their disappearance. For this reason, and at the advice of D,C & H, we are recommending that readers offer grammatical or spelling corrections only at their own peril.

Another clarification is in order. Group Captain Mandrake is most decidedly not a member of the editorial board. There was some discussion of severing his affiliation with the thread but all such deliberations were indefinitely tabled when several board memebers found dead fishes wrapped in newspaper in the front seat of their cars. If anyone does see him, please don't tell him this. Instead, please have him call the board secretary as soon as possible. It seems that Gen. Marshall's list of those who were NOT to be invited to the Christmas Party was mislabled in a clerical error and Grp Cpt Mandrake received an invitiation.

Egyptian Girl

PS. My cosmetologist calls the little strip of wax from my upper lip a "carpet sample".

PPS. The new Editorial position is still open. The recommendations of a number of readers were very kind but the candidate will not return our phone calls. The Board has voted to add a 401-K plan which will vest after 5 years should the candidate survive that long



Cap Mandrake -> Back Down the Chain of Command: (12/6/2007 1:25:40 AM)

**********SEAC Radio Tent, 21:30, October 12, 1942************


Major Bean-Counter: The Ge-gege-ge-general didn't bu-bububu-buy the hu-huhu-humdididity ssss-s-story on the Catalinas. S-sss-s-s-s-send this n-nnnn-nnn-now........ <radio operator looks at his watch>



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