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Cap Mandrake -> RE: Meatball! (4/24/2008 8:44:33 PM)
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Do I have to explain everything to you guys? [:D]
*******1st Amphibious Corps HQ tent, Canton Is., 09:10, December 31, 1942************
<Gen. Beightler, 37th ID enters the small tent, which is partly surrounded by sandbags. It is a very cramped affair that is shared with a couple of war correspondents and a chaplain. He approaches a small table with a map surrounded by three general officers and a portly civilian in khaki pants, deck shoes and a tacky captain's hat . The officers are known to him Gen. Marsten, 2nd Marine, Gen. Mullins, 25th ID and the Corps Commander, Gen. Mitchell. Gen. Mitchell turns to greet the new arrival>
Gen. Mitchell: Welcome to Canton, General. How goes the landing of your forces?
Gen. Beightler: Thank you sir. A bit sketchy sir. It seems a friendly shot my G2 officer in the buttock.
Gen. Mitchell: The buttock? How odd? Is he OK?
Gen. Beightler: Looks like it sir, but it will be back to Palmyra for him.
Gen. Marsten: Ummm....yes, sorry about that General. Apparently some of my boys got a bit jumpy over the red meatballs. That was a serious FUBAR.
Gen. Beightler: Hmmm...I can see that. I advocated for the ETO. I knew we might have that problem in the Pacific.
Gen. Mitchell: Look, gentlemen. I will say this once and only once. That is the last acronym I want to hear. This directive comes all the way from the top...the Big Guy.
Gen. Mullins: You mean God, sir?
Gen. Mitchell: No, no, no. Down one.
Gen. Marsten: Ah...Jesus then?
Gen. Mitchell: No, no, below him.
Gen. Marsten: Ah..the Holy Ghost.
Gen. Mitchell: General, do you really think the Holy Ghost is in the chain of command of the United States Marine Corps?
Gen. Marsten: Ah..no sir..I guess not.
Gen. Mitchell: Look, I don't want this getting around, but it comes from the White House. The next person to use an acronym around here is SOL. Understood? <all nod though snickering a bit>
Gen. Mullins: Sir? <rolls his eyes in the direction of the civilian in the goofy hat and deck shoes. Up close one can now see a badge that reads "official SPCA oberver">
Gen. Mitchell: Ah, yes..<apologetically> Gen. Beightler, meet the Skipper, offcicial observer of the SPCA.
Gen. Mullins: SPCA? <turns toward the civilian with the goofy hat>
Skipper: It's the Canton Island Booby, General.
Gen. Mullins: Never heard of it.
Skipper: They're endangered, sir.
Gen. Mitchell: That reminds me. No artillery fire between 05:30 and 09:00. It stresses the Boobys <rolls eyes> General Mullins, when will your Ohio boys be ready to move?
Gen. Mullins: I estimate two days sir, for a coordinated attack, I mean. I had to come ashore right away, myself. I feel odd saying this but I swear Admiral Adams groped my buttock at dinner last night. <all 3 other officers laugh>
Gen. Mitchell: The buttock? how odd. <winks at the other two> Don't sweat it man. It's a form of flattery. <turns to map> OK...here is the deal...when ready, 37th ID will relieve 25th on the left flank. 25th will refit and be ready to exploit should a brakthrough occur. We have identified 5th Brigade and 3 Naval Guard units. They have to be hurting a bit.
Gen. Mullins: Very well sir. What do you estimate my divisional frontage will be?
Gen. Mitchell: 50 perhaps..no more than 120
Gen. Mullins: 50 THOUSAND YARDS? Why, that's almost........30 miles. We will have nothing more than platoon strongpoints at that unit density. The Japs will infiltrate the Hell out of us at night.
Gen. Mitchell: General, I realize you were brought into this somewhat late in the process, but that's 50 to 120 YARDS, General. You will take the left side and the Marines will be on the right. The divisional demarcation line will be the big palm stump. <points to map> HERE!
Gen. Mullins: Oh. Yes sir, the big stump sir.
Gen. Mitchell: Right, we push again on the 2nd. H-hour, 09:15 after a 15 minute preparatory barrage..right after the Booby window closes. Any questions?............
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