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Cap Mandrake -> Lanai Room (5/23/2008 6:55:05 PM)
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***********Lanai Room, Anfa Hotel, Casablanca, 15:20, Januray 9, 1943*************
The PM and the Chief of the Imperial General Staff are having a private tea.
WC: Let's we two have a chat about something more bold in Southeast Asia, or as the President would say South AND East Asia. <both men chuckle> Parenthetically, I am a bit concerned about the President. Lately he reminds me of my first roomate at Sandhurst, and trust me, that is not a favorable comparison. The chap was seldom free of inebriation. <grows pensive> Still, there is nothing I can do about that and I must say the President has become quite the babe magnet.
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Indeed. Did you see the transcriptionist he brought? It takes some of the sting out of losing the colonies.
WC: Yes. I noticed her. Nice bottom. <takes a puff from his cigar> Field Marshall, I'm concerned about Pownall, a solid fellow to be sure, but he seems to lack the proper level of imagination. Who have we to replace him at SEAC?
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Hmmm. <takes out a small scrap of paper> I took the liberty of having staff review this, anticipating your interest in a 'more energetic remedy', sir. <makes air quote>
WC: Splendid!
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Splendid? Ah yes. I love it.
WC: Of course, that is what "splendid" means.
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Yes sir. That's why I love it.
WC: Love what?
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Your idea, sir.
WC: What idea is that, Field Marshall?
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Operation Splendid, of course.
WC: Operation Splendid? Oh, I see, yes, come to think of it, it IS splendid.
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Yes, the idea for Operation Splendid is indeed splendid.
WC: Indeed, there can be no other word for it.
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: None other, sir.
WC: Splendid it is then!
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Splendid, sir!
WC: Agreed! Operation Splendid it is. And it will be a splendid thing to behold.
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Indeed it will sir. <pauses briefly> Sir, in the interests of operational security, may I suggest we refrain from using the word "splendid".
WC: Splendid idea, Field Marshall...oh, blast....superb, that's it, superb idea.
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Sir, may I suggest we order the chain of command to also refrain from the use of you know what.
WC: Superb idea, Field Marshall! Unless they are actually referring to the operation, then they shall be permitted to say you know what. After all, that is the whole point. Instruct the chain of command to use the word "superb" instead of you know what unless they are referring to Operation you know what.
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Yes sir! Superb idea sir. I will see to it.
WC: Superb! I feel we cannot fail.
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Indeed, our chances are superb, sir. Sir, <pauses and assumes a cautious tone> what exactly is Operation You Know What?
WC: Why, it's, as you say, a "more energetic remedy".
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Superb! We shall have to work out the details later, then.
WC: Indeed. We should flesh it out a bit.
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Superb!
WC: Yes, yes it is. Field Marshall, perhaps we could review that list.
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Ah, yes sir. <reads from list> Brigadier Ludlow, Brigadier Trent, Lt. Gen Spanton, Lt. Gen Auchinleck and Colonel Wavell.
WC: That's it??? Two Brigadiers, two Lt. Generals and a Colonel? That is preposterous. The Americans have Admirals commanding PT boat flotillas. Why haven't I a more fulsome choice?
Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: It's a pension issue sir.
WC: BLOODY LABOUR BOLSHEVIKS! .......
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