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RE: Bernard Law - 1/17/2011 9:31:12 PM   
Grollub


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From: Lulea, Sweden
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alfred


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The most important, and most challenging, of the black arts to be mastered in childhood is that of financial independence. Everything else pales in comparison.


Or get yourself in charge of an HOA and see everyone dance to your whims.

Alfred



_____________________________

“Not mastering metaphores is like cooking pasta when the train is delayed"

(in reply to Alfred)
Post #: 3481
RE: Bernard Law - 1/17/2011 9:33:05 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alfred


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The most important, and most challenging, of the black arts to be mastered in childhood is that of financial independence. Everything else pales in comparison.


Or get yourself in charge of an HOA and see everyone dance to your whims.

Alfred


Parental pride really knows no limits:


Mrs. Mengele: My son is a doctor. He conducts experiments. What does your son do?..............

(in reply to Alfred)
Post #: 3482
RE: Bernard Law - 1/17/2011 10:43:09 PM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
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From: Argleton
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So I am driving to work...late...and my daughter calls me on the cell. Imagining that a meteor has hit the house or some such thing, I take the risk of a $300 fine and answer it.

Me: Yeah, what's up?

Daughter: Daddy, how do you do laundry?




Here is my advice. Don't let those precious laundry moments pass you by when your kids are growing up. Put down the mouse and try to get the AE turn done AFTER you go over sorting colors and the like. It all just goes by so quickly.


Oh, you poor naive man. The critical question is what did she want to wash off before you got home?*

* For those of you whose minds just raced off to left field (or someplace worse), remember it doesn't have to be something truly awful, just something she wants to hide from Dad. Is the dog missing? Do you have his DNA on file in case you find blood? Or is there a bottle of wine missing? Etc.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3483
RE: Bernard Law - 1/17/2011 10:49:02 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
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From: Portsmouth, UK
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quote:

The critical question is what did she want to wash off before you got home?*


If she's like my daughter, nothing. She probably just ran out of clean undies. Mine has been known to wear her little brothers boxers before doing her own laundry.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to witpqs)
Post #: 3484
RE: Bernard Law - 1/17/2011 11:05:46 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So I am driving to work...late...and my daughter calls me on the cell. Imagining that a meteor has hit the house or some such thing, I take the risk of a $300 fine and answer it.

Me: Yeah, what's up?

Daughter: Daddy, how do you do laundry?




Here is my advice. Don't let those precious laundry moments pass you by when your kids are growing up. Put down the mouse and try to get the AE turn done AFTER you go over sorting colors and the like. It all just goes by so quickly.


Oh, you poor naive man. The critical question is what did she want to wash off before you got home?*

* For those of you whose minds just raced off to left field (or someplace worse), remember it doesn't have to be something truly awful, just something she wants to hide from Dad. Is the dog missing? Do you have his DNA on file in case you find blood? Or is there a bottle of wine missing? Etc.


I think she had to go to work and needed pants without dog smell on them (she works at a Petsmart where they have a "Pet Hotel")


As for the missing wine...yes but not recently...more recently it was a bottle of Bombay Sapphire gone missing when Stalker Girl and I went out the desert for the weekend. After Stalker Girl accused both her daughter and my daughter of taking it...she found it hidden away where she had forgotten it.


Your question reminds of the time my daughter said at dinner, "Oh, dad, I forgot to tell you the FBI came to the door the other day"

(in reply to witpqs)
Post #: 3485
RE: Bernard Law - 1/17/2011 11:11:01 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Here is another question that should incite caution, "Um, hi daddy, just wondering when you were coming home?"

It is best to answer this with, "I should be leaving soon?"

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3486
RE: Bernard Law - 1/17/2011 11:18:23 PM   
Mynok


Posts: 12108
Joined: 11/30/2002
Status: offline 		No, you answer with "Home? I just pulled up."

If there are nefarious things afoot, you have just created a new laundry-moment opportunity.

_____________________________

"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3487
RE: Bernard Law - 1/17/2011 11:24:13 PM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Editor's Note: Point of clarification for the younger readers. The poster by the name of Dixie appears to have included a clever reference to homosexuality in the Royal Navy. This is akin to dropping the first nucelar weapon in a conflict and will almost certainly require some type of caustic response. Please stay tuned.

Oh no, not 'nucelar' war!


Apparently your brief trip to The Cornfield did not leave a sufficient impression on you in regard to mockery of posters in the thread.

How would you feel about a Lanai Room at Club Gitmo? You would be bunking with Richard Reid.




No shirt, no shoes, no problem....

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3488
RE: ORC Power!!!! - 1/17/2011 11:25:04 PM   
Kwik E Mart


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nemo121

Bah, Orcs make EXCELLENT improvisers. See below.





i think the orcs are getting a bum rap...at least they aren't goblins...(note the ammunition...)






Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Kirk Lazarus: I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
Ron Swanson: Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

(in reply to Nemo121)
Post #: 3489
RE: Bernard Law - 1/17/2011 11:25:22 PM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So I am driving to work...late...and my daughter calls me on the cell. Imagining that a meteor has hit the house or some such thing, I take the risk of a $300 fine and answer it.

Me: Yeah, what's up?

Daughter: Daddy, how do you do laundry?




Here is my advice. Don't let those precious laundry moments pass you by when your kids are growing up. Put down the mouse and try to get the AE turn done AFTER you go over sorting colors and the like. It all just goes by so quickly.


She's what? 22? 23?

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3490
RE: Bernard Law - 1/17/2011 11:26:44 PM   
Onime No Kyo


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Joined: 4/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mynok


I'll never have the "joy" of trying to teach a teenager the concept of bleach for whites. Thank God for small blessings.




My mom told me to do my own laundry at 15 (after an incident where I got pissy with her). I learned the hard way.

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Mynok)
Post #: 3491
RE: Bernard Law - 1/17/2011 11:27:51 PM   
Onime No Kyo


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Joined: 4/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

My daughter has only just mastered the black art of laundry but stubbornly refuses to stick it in the tumble drier. Instead it's spread over the family bathroom radiator and hallway bannister because it's "green".

However preparing a meal beyond buttered toast is still something to be mastered.


Hast thou no microwave?

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 3492
RE: Bernard Law - 1/17/2011 11:30:47 PM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

quote:

The critical question is what did she want to wash off before you got home?*


If she's like my daughter, nothing. She probably just ran out of clean undies. Mine has been known to wear her little brothers boxers before doing her own laundry.


Lazy and ecologically conscious? You do realize that youre raising a full-blown hippie, dont you?

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 3493
RE: Bernard Law - 1/17/2011 11:41:49 PM   
stuman


Posts: 3907
Joined: 9/14/2008
From: Elvis' Hometown
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The most important, and most challenging, of the black arts to be mastered in childhood is that of financial independence. Everything else pales in comparison.


Oh hell yes. I second, third and fourth that statement.

_____________________________

" Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room. " President Muffley


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3494
RE: Bernard Law - 1/17/2011 11:45:46 PM   
stuman


Posts: 3907
Joined: 9/14/2008
From: Elvis' Hometown
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Here is another question that should incite caution, "Um, hi daddy, just wondering when you were coming home?"

It is best to answer this with, "I should be leaving soon?"



I do the same thing.

_____________________________

" Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room. " President Muffley


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3495
RE: Bernard Law - 1/18/2011 2:11:30 AM   
Moondawggie


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003
From: Placer County CA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: vettim89

Just for the record: the first president to use the term Nucular was H.S. Truman


But LBJ really perfected the "mispronunciation," although Jimmy Carter and W both tried hard to on improve on LBJ's effort.

Those were the days: A President who could combine "Nuke-lure" and Veet-Nam" in the same speech.

Carter's "Nuke-a-lar" and W's "Nuke-leer" pale in comparison; proof positive the world is run by "C" students...

_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to vettim89)
Post #: 3496
RE: Bernard Law - 1/18/2011 5:19:02 AM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		Dear Cap'n and Admiral Lord Sprior:

As fascinating as the topic of your female filial generation one laundry capabilities is, wasn't there that odd bit about...something about...I vaguely remember....

Oh yes. I recall now. THE WAR?

_____________________________


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Post #: 3497
RE: Bernard Law - 1/18/2011 7:11:40 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Oh yeah...that.

The bombardment of July 7th at Nadi goes badly. It seems there was a freindly fire accident.

Ground combat at Nadi (131,160)

Allied Bombardment attack

Attacking force 10531 troops, 441 guns, 237 vehicles, Assault Value = 810

Defending force 20686 troops, 410 guns, 420 vehicles, Assault Value = 655


Allied ground losses:
13 casualties reported
Squads: 1 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Vehicles lost 1 (1 destroyed, 0 disabled)


Friendly fire incidents are the worst.


************1st Platoon, Hvy Wpn Coy, II/132nd Rgt., Nadi, July 7, 1942***********

Pvt. Van Skyke: Hey Skeets. What say we play a joke on the guys and point the mortar thingy straight up?

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 1/18/2011 7:12:01 AM >

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 3498
RE: Bernard Law - 1/18/2011 7:14:04 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		We shot down 18 Betties over Calcutta. Happy now?

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 3499
RE: Bernard Law - 1/18/2011 7:15:56 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		There was actually a kid in my high school, a certain Ike Van Skyke, who brought a 22 round to shop class, clamped it in a vise and tried to get it to go off with a scratch awl and a hammer. He was disinvited from class for a while. His head was the size of a basketball but there was some kind of wiring problem so all that extra cranial volume went to no use.


I imagine his great uncle in the 132nd was a hazard as well.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 1/18/2011 7:19:18 AM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3500
RE: Bernard Law - 1/18/2011 12:41:33 PM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Oh yeah...that.

The bombardment of July 7th at Nadi goes badly. It seems there was a freindly fire accident.

Ground combat at Nadi (131,160)

Allied Bombardment attack

Attacking force 10531 troops, 441 guns, 237 vehicles, Assault Value = 810

Defending force 20686 troops, 410 guns, 420 vehicles, Assault Value = 655


Allied ground losses:
13 casualties reported
Squads: 1 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Vehicles lost 1 (1 destroyed, 0 disabled)


Friendly fire incidents are the worst.


************1st Platoon, Hvy Wpn Coy, II/132nd Rgt., Nadi, July 7, 1942***********

Pvt. Van Skyke: Hey Skeets. What say we play a joke on the guys and point the mortar thingy straight up?



This is obviously one of those things that started with the phrase "hey, y'all, watch this.

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3501
RE: Bernard Law - 1/18/2011 12:54:32 PM   
FOW

 

Posts: 499
Joined: 11/6/2008
From: England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Oh yeah...that.

The bombardment of July 7th at Nadi goes badly. It seems there was a freindly fire accident.

Ground combat at Nadi (131,160)

Allied Bombardment attack

Attacking force 10531 troops, 441 guns, 237 vehicles, Assault Value = 810

Defending force 20686 troops, 410 guns, 420 vehicles, Assault Value = 655


Allied ground losses:
13 casualties reported
Squads: 1 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Vehicles lost 1 (1 destroyed, 0 disabled)


Friendly fire incidents are the worst.



Please please say it isn't true - was that the mobile laundry van that got hit !!!!

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3502
RE: Bernard Law - 1/18/2011 2:05:01 PM   
bhawes

 

Posts: 16
Joined: 10/19/2010
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quote:


Please please say it isn't true - was that the mobile laundry van that got hit !!!!


Of course not, that would be a non-combat device.

(in reply to FOW)
Post #: 3503
RE: Bernard Law - 1/18/2011 2:34:04 PM   
Itdepends

 

Posts: 937
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior
My daughter has only just mastered the black art of laundry but stubbornly refuses to stick it in the tumble drier. Instead it's spread over the family bathroom radiator and hallway bannister because it's "green".

If you had "proper" weather you could hang it outside. About half an hour will do it around here at the moment.

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 3504
RE: Bernard Law - 1/18/2011 4:08:04 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		The wee Jap dobbers land on an island named after one of their own ships. Like I didn't see THAT coming.




Attachment (1)

(in reply to Itdepends)
Post #: 3505
Cargo Boy! - 1/18/2011 4:30:01 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		**********July 8, 1942, lower slope of Mount Yasur, Tanna Is.*********


Siwe, a Tannanese guy (or maybe it's Tannese..oh screw it...none of you guys know either) has shed his traditional penis gourd and hemp butt floss outfit for western style slacks but wears no shirt. He is carrying a carved branch over his shoulder that looks vaguely like an M1(the branch not his shoulder). He scans the horizon for Cargo ships that Ensign McGoo has promised will come again. Two wee Jap dobbers wearing these preposterous and, frankly, sissy-looking silk outfits with shoulder pad thingys and totally gay pointed black quilted hats pass by.


Wee Jap dobber in sissy outfit: Hey! Cargo Boy! See any ship today? <they both laugh>


Second wee Jap dobber in sissy outfit: Cargey? Know what really in Spam? <they laugh uproariously>

Siwe walks on, pretending not to notice, but the words hurt. They hurt bad.



< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 1/18/2011 4:40:52 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3506
RE: Cargo Boy! - 1/18/2011 4:36:57 PM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline 		Tannamanian? (from the isthmus at the center of the island)

Tannabal? (run away)

Tannamannamanna? (married to Rosanne Rosannadanna)

Tannamator? (came back from the future to erase ensign McCoy)

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3507
RE: Bernard Law - 1/18/2011 4:38:14 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		Cap;

A, which map set are you using and
B, which image program are you using?

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3508
RE: Bernard Law - 1/18/2011 4:44:37 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Cap;

A, which map set are you using and
B, which image program are you using?


I think these are just the stock AE maps with the hexes turned off for aesthetic purposes.

As for image program I have been trying to brush my teeth better and make sure my nose hairs are trimmed.

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 3509
RE: Bernard Law - 1/18/2011 4:48:41 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		My newer computer gave up the ghost so I am using a machine running Windows 2000 . I had PSP on the newer one.

I am just using Windows Paint (c) 1986. The jpg conversion is really bad.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3510
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