Slitherine

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ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

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ORIGINAL: USS America

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ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

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* 99% of authentic Italian loafers in Fiji in 1942 were imported so this is largely redundant.

Wouldn't 100% of authentic Italian loafers in Fiji be imported??

Maybe 1% were not "imported" but were "smuggled" in?

A different kind of importation, yet still imported...

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

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ORIGINAL: sprior

Why are Italians loafing in Fiji? Shouldn't they be doing something constructive like building anti-submarine barriers, er I mean causeways?

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Aren't they part of the axis or something?

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.

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ORIGINAL: sprior

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Aren't they part of the axis or something?

Only temporarily

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ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

************M&M Enterprises South Pacific HQ, Suva, Fiji, August 17, 1942*********

Man in fine linen slacks: <on telephone with imported Italian loafers* up on desk> ...look, that is what I am paying you for Richter. I don't care if he says he graduated first in his class at Westpoint. I am here to tell you it was either a weak year or he knew somebody. I have a copy of his senior thesis. Let me just say the man is no genius.

.....


Negative! DO NOT say anything about Corregidor. You are trying to align his incentives with yours not make an enemy of him. I thought you told me you had sales experience?

.....

Floor wax? Are you kidding me? My chief geologist is a floor wax salesman? <cups phone with hand and calls to other side of the room> Yossarian, you ethnic SOB, what is that expression you use?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Santa Maria!

Man in fine linen slacks: Yeah that's it! <uncovers phone> Santa Maria, Richter! Santa Maria! <he pronounces "Santa" like the guy in the red suit> Do you know what that means, Richter?

......


Yeah, well, in my book it means why did I hire you if you can't close the deal on a guy with an ego the size of New Guinea. Butter him up.

.....

No, not his wife, you moron, his military genius <makes air quotes> That's what he wants to hear. Tell him if Papua breaks off it could ruin his career.

.....

Hell, I don't know. Use geology terms. Bluff. Tell him Papua New Guinea is sitting on big deposit of schist.

.....

No SCHIST! Where the Hell did you go to geology school, Richter? Tell him Papua sits on schist and Western New Guinea sits on granite. Believe me, with his ego, he won't ask any more questions.

.....

OK. Get it done. I am already in big for the cement ordnance. We need to move this stuff. OK, you can do it son. I have confidence in you. Talk to you Tuesday. <hangs up phone>

I don't trust that kid to tie his own shoes.

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: But you just said you had confidence in him.

Man in fine linen slacks: Yossarian, you naive SOB, I was trying to motivate him.

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: But you don't really believe what you told him?

Man in fine linen slacks: Santa Maria, man! What good would it do to tell him I think he is an idiot?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Do you do that to me?

Man in fine linen slacks: Do what?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Butter me up like that?

Man in fine linen slacks: Yossarian, you crazy, insecure SOB, when is the last time I had something good to say about you?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Hmmmmm...<looks up at the ceiling>...I can't say I remember any.

Man in fine linen slacks: See, there you have it. You sound like a woman. Grow a pair, would you. <throws a folder across the desk> Here, look at this.

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: <picks it up> "How I Would Save the Philippines by Douglas A. MacArthur". It is all about him even then.

Man in fine linen slacks: Get this. His plan involved 400 B-10B and 300 P-26. I could have made a fortune if the Army adopted his plan. What an idiot.

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Everyone thought his clone was a dim bulb but I liked the guy.

Man in fine linen slacks: What was that, Yossarian?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Oh, never mind.

Man in fine linen slacks: What I don't get is how somebody like that rises to that level of command.

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Chutzpah

Man in fine linen slacks: Chutzpah? Yossarian, you crazy, secretive SOB, I didn't know you spoke Yiddish?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: I worked in the Catskills one summer in college.

Man in fine linen slacks: No kidding? Stand up?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: No, bussing tables.......


* 99% of authentic Italian loafers in Fiji in 1942 were imported so this is largely redundant.

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ORIGINAL: sprior

We still own Ramree island.

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ORIGINAL: sprior

Time to decide between Otter and Stoat.

If we do Otter then I think we need to go Port Hedland - Broome - Wyndham - Darwin.

Stoat means pushing 4 -5 divisions up the road from a Town Called Malice and I don't think we can support that force along that track.

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ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

************M&M Enterprises South Pacific HQ, Suva, Fiji, August 17, 1942*********

Man in fine linen slacks: <on telephone with imported Italian loafers* up on desk>

* 99% of authentic Italian loafers in Fiji in 1942 were imported so this is largely redundant.

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ORIGINAL: CaptDave

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ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

************M&M Enterprises South Pacific HQ, Suva, Fiji, August 17, 1942*********

Man in fine linen slacks: <on telephone with imported Italian loafers* up on desk>

* 99% of authentic Italian loafers in Fiji in 1942 were imported so this is largely redundant.

Actually, I've been wondering what the telephone is doing with Italian loafers, imported or not!

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ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
The B-17E's can operate from Geraldton to take out Port Headland airfield. I say when get about 40-50 B-17's together and move them to Geraldton 1 or 2 d before the op commences so we don't tip our hand.

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ORIGINAL: Itdepends

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ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
The B-17E's can operate from Geraldton to take out Port Headland airfield. I say when get about 40-50 B-17's together and move them to Geraldton 1 or 2 d before the op commences so we don't tip our hand.

Have you developed Meekatharra or Cue- and have they developed Corunna Downs? (south of Headland). Just wondering if you can get enough airframes aloft from Geraldton to shut down (potentially) both fields.

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ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
I hear you can get a big bowl of cheese-flavored nachos there for only 50 cents.

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ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I'm afraid I don't have a clue where Cue is. Down some dusty track somewhere, I expect.

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ORIGINAL: sprior

Looks like it's Otter. Hope it doesn't end up the same way as Tarka.

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ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

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ORIGINAL: sprior

Looks like it's Otter. Hope it doesn't end up the same way as Tarka.

Santa Maria! Is that what passes for children's literature in Britain? And I thought it was bad when Bambi's mother got shot. The poor thing is abandoned by his dead beat mum and then has to go up against a rival gang.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarka_the_Otter

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ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

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ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

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ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

OK, smart***, just for that I am going to tell you about the 2nd Battle of the Torres Strait.


**********09:15, Aug 17, 1942***********


Lt.JG Toutant "Frenchie" Beauregard stands on the bridge of PT-120. He commands a flotilla of 7 boats ordered to protect Horn Is. Recon reports two Jap Torpedo Boats approaching. He is not worried as he has a surprise in store. He has used his family wealth to customize PT-120 with a special order weapon brought at great expense from Charleston, SC. It isn't regulation, of course, but, given sufficient "incentive", one can get just about anything from private weapons resellers in the PTO.

Lookout: Enemy ships, bearing 100...range 11,000 yds!

Lt.JG Toutant "Frenchie" Beauregard: <puts his glasses to his eyes> Jap torpedo boats...two of 'em. They are coming around. They mean to cross our "T"...<he laughs derisively with the knowledge his main firepower is on his foredeck>. Make our course 100, flank speed. Signal all boats to attack! <the boats swing toward the enemy and white water climbs high behind the boats, especially for PT-120, for she appears down by the bow a bit. Several boats begin firing their .50's from improbable range. The tracers arc upward and then fall hundreds of yards from the target. It is really poor firing discipline, but their is plenty of ammo and it is fun. The Japs fire back, not doing much better. It is the Lt's intention to close to about 4500 yds and surprise the Little Yellow Bastards with his secret weapon. The range passes 6500 yds. They are closing fast. Time to act>

UNCOVER THE DICTATOR! <the crews rushes forward and pulls back the canvas on the foredeck. As the canvas is pulled away, there is revealed a massive cast iron seige mortar and a pile of 13 inch cannon balls. An inscription on the base reads "The Dictator, Framingham Foundry, January 1862, Distributed by M&M Enterprises, Ordnance Reselling Division">

Make ready the gun, Mr. Cathcart! Maximum elevation, double charge!