RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (Full Version)

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Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/20/2015 7:48:49 PM)
**************Corumn of Type II Ronsons, West of Pegu, Burma********* Japan-mens tank commandah:** <passes 2 Buddhist-mens monks> HEY! BUDDHIST-MENS KNOW WHERE GORDEN PAGODA?

sprior -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/20/2015 8:03:32 PM)
Imperiar G-ahds division on road to Rangoon.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/20/2015 8:35:34 PM)
It armost defy berief. Not-ah one attack by RAF. Onry crappy Dutch-mens destroyer. Maybe srow down a rittah so Togo-san not-ah raise production standards everywhere.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/20/2015 8:44:32 PM)
**********Feb. 4, 1942(d)******** Burma:** Arried-mens compretery surprised when Imperiar Guard division show up without invitation yestahday. Everyone try to get out of Rangoon. Admirarh SPrio-san not issue written ordahs to commandah of Atago force so difficurt to get conviction in war crimes tribunarh aftah sinking arr of herpress ships/ Day Time Surface Combat, near Rangoon at 52,54, Range 19,000 Yards Japanese Ships CA Atago CL Sendai CL Isuzu DD Shiratsuyu DD Hibiki DD Shirayuki DD Hatsuyuki DD Shikinami DD Ayanami DD Asagiri Allied Ships AMC Pansy, Torpedo hits 2, and is sunk xAK Nord, Shell hits 13, and is sunk xAK Oregonian, Shell hits 4, Torpedo hits 1, and is sunk xAK Paul Luckenbach, Shell hits 9, Torpedo hits 1, and is sunk This time singurh Dutch destroyer not-ah get as unberievabry rucky as sistah ship at Rord Howe. In fact, this-ah pretty much what-ah expect happen. Day Time Surface Combat, near Rangoon at 52,54, Range 16,000 Yards Japanese Ships CA Atago CL Sendai CL Isuzu DD Shiratsuyu DD Hibiki DD Shirayuki DD Hatsuyuki DD Shikinami DD Ayanami DD Asagiri Allied Ships DD Piet Hein, Shell hits 16, and is sunk

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/20/2015 8:56:36 PM)
Hory crap! Mandrake-san hope idiot in radio room Atago not-ah write down where ordahs come from. At reast this-ah group have corvette with herpress ships. ay Time Surface Combat, near Rangoon at 52,54, Range 20,000 Yards Japanese Ships CA Atago CL Sendai CL Isuzu DD Shiratsuyu DD Hibiki DD Shirayuki DD Hatsuyuki DD Shikinami DD Ayanami DD Asagiri Allied Ships KV Jasmine, Shell hits 27, and is sunk xAK Baroda, Shell hits 3, Torpedo hits 1, and is sunk xAK Hoihow, Shell hits 29, and is sunk xAK Hupeh, Shell hits 26, and is sunk xAK Jaladurga, Shell hits 39, and is sunk xAK Marion Moller, Shell hits 32, and is sunk

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/20/2015 8:58:27 PM)
Prausiburh deniabirity. That-ah key! Day Time Surface Combat, near Rangoon at 52,54, Range 19,000 Yards Japanese Ships CA Atago CL Sendai CL Isuzu DD Shiratsuyu DD Hibiki DD Shirayuki DD Hatsuyuki DD Shikinami DD Ayanami DD Asagiri Allied Ships HDML Pahalwan, Shell hits 5, and is sunk HDML Panglima, Shell hits 1, and is sunk HDML Pennigat, Shell hits 3, and is sunk HDML Panji, Shell hits 1, and is sunk

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/20/2015 9:02:46 PM)
Nerrs fry up arr of way from Bangkok. Fighters at Rangoon stay on ground aftah Oscar fighter sweep yestahday. Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Bassein at 50,52 Weather in hex: Overcast Raid spotted at 14 NM, estimated altitude 14,000 feet. Estimated time to target is 5 minutes Japanese aircraft A6M2 Zero x 9 G3M2 Nell x 3 No Japanese losses Allied Ships TK Petronella, Bomb hits 1, heavy fires

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/20/2015 9:16:49 PM)
Burma Rifurhs drop fancy rifurhs and run away. Probabry throw hand grenade in tent of British officah just for fun. Ground combat at Pegu (55,53) Japanese Shock attack Attacking force 22495 troops, 250 guns, 75 vehicles, Assault Value = 673 Defending force 2323 troops, 8 guns, 15 vehicles, Assault Value = 35 Japanese adjusted assault: 754 Allied adjusted defense: 5 Japanese assault odds: 150 to 1 (fort level 2) Japanese forces CAPTURE Pegu !!! Combat modifiers Defender: experience(-) Attacker: shock(+) Japanese ground losses: 152 casualties reported Squads: 0 destroyed, 13 disabled Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled Engineers: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled Allied ground losses: 1364 casualties reported Squads: 70 destroyed, 2 disabled Non Combat: 66 destroyed, 1 disabled Engineers: 10 destroyed, 0 disabled Guns lost 5 (5 destroyed, 0 disabled) Vehicles lost 14 (14 destroyed, 0 disabled) Units retreated 2 Units destroyed 2 Defeated Allied Units Retreating! Assaulting units: Imperial Guards Division 21st Infantry Regiment 55th Infantry Regiment 3rd Ind. Mountain Gun Regiment 18th Medium Field Artillery Regiment 5th Field Artillery Regiment 21st JAAF AF Bn Defending units: Railway BAF Battalion 3rd Burma Rifles Battalion 4th Burma Rifles Battalion 108th RAF Base Force

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/20/2015 9:18:58 PM)
Fiji: Arried-mens STIRR not-ah give up. This-ah rike rongest batturh in history. Ground combat at Suva (132,160) Japanese Shock attack Attacking force 15385 troops, 134 guns, 59 vehicles, Assault Value = 367 Defending force 6672 troops, 104 guns, 101 vehicles, Assault Value = 20 Japanese adjusted assault: 193 Allied adjusted defense: 77 Japanese assault odds: 2 to 1 (fort level 1) Japanese Assault reduces fortifications to 0 Combat modifiers Defender: terrain(+), preparation(-), experience(-) Attacker: shock(+) Japanese ground losses: 273 casualties reported Squads: 0 destroyed, 27 disabled Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 6 disabled Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled Vehicles lost 11 (1 destroyed, 10 disabled) Allied ground losses: 398 casualties reported Squads: 27 destroyed, 3 disabled Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 22 disabled Engineers: 8 destroyed, 5 disabled Vehicles lost 10 (2 destroyed, 8 disabled) Assaulting units: 51st Naval Guard Unit 8th Tank Regiment Kimura Det 144th Infantry Regiment 146th Infantry Regiment 52nd Naval Guard Unit 53rd Naval Guard Unit 15th Base Force Defending units: 8th NZ Brigade 45th Base Group 1st RNZAF Base Force 131st Field Artillery Battalion 147th Field Artillery Battalion 148th Field Artillery Battalion 260th Field Artillery Battalion Nandi Base Force

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/20/2015 9:23:55 PM)
Soromons Mandrake-san see Arried-mens ships near Southestern tip of Soromons yestahday. Recon pirot say turn around, go back to New Zearand or something. Mandrake-san think-ah that-ah burr **** so send out Hiryu from Rabaurh. Hehe. Mandrake-san rearry tired of Arried-mens crusiers sneak up on Japan-mens ships. Morning Air attack on TF, near Rennell Island at 110,140 Weather in hex: Moderate rain Raid detected at 76 NM, estimated altitude 12,000 feet. Estimated time to target is 28 minutes Japanese aircraft A6M2 Zero x 4 B5N2 Kate x 22 D3A1 Val x 21 No Japanese losses Allied Ships DD Crane CL Achilles, Bomb hits 6, on fire DD John D. Edwards, Bomb hits 1 and then...perhaps end of Achirres..get hit in heer by torpedo. Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Rennell Island at 110,140 Weather in hex: Partial cloud Raid detected at 60 NM, estimated altitude 12,000 feet. Estimated time to target is 22 minutes Japanese aircraft A6M2 Zero x 4 B5N2 Kate x 14 D3A1 Val x 21 No Japanese losses Allied Ships CL Achilles, Bomb hits 3, Torpedo hits 1, heavy fires, heavy damage DD Crane, Bomb hits 1, heavy fires DD John D. Edwards, Bomb hits 1, on fire

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/20/2015 9:28:55 PM)
Oz: Rot of exposions but mostry buirdings. 18th Div not-ah hurt very badry. Night Naval bombardment of Bundaberg at 96,155 Japanese Ships BB Yamashiro BB Mutsu BB Nagato DD Suzukaze DD Kasumi DD Oshio DD Tokitsukaze Allied ground losses: 145 casualties reported Squads: 0 destroyed, 11 disabled Non Combat: 1 destroyed, 5 disabled Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled Resources hits 1 Airbase hits 15 Airbase supply hits 3 Runway hits 35 Port hits 18 Port fuel hits 4 Port supply hits 3

sprior -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/21/2015 6:45:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake **********Feb. 4, 1942(d)******** Burma:** Arried-mens compretery surprised when Imperiar Guard division show up without invitation yestahday. Everyone try to get out of Rangoon. Admirarh SPrio-san not issue written ordahs to commandah of Atago force so difficurt to get conviction in war crimes tribunarh aftah sinking arr of herpress ships/ Day Time Surface Combat, near Rangoon at 52,54, Range 19,000 Yards Japanese Ships CA Atago CL Sendai CL Isuzu DD Shiratsuyu DD Hibiki DD Shirayuki DD Hatsuyuki DD Shikinami DD Ayanami DD Asagiri Allied Ships AMC Pansy, Torpedo hits 2, and is sunk xAK Nord, Shell hits 13, and is sunk xAK Oregonian, Shell hits 4, Torpedo hits 1, and is sunk xAK Paul Luckenbach, Shell hits 9, Torpedo hits 1, and is sunk Ha! They carry war suppries, we sink them. They go grub, grub.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/21/2015 2:17:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sprior quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake **********Feb. 4, 1942(d)******** Burma:** Arried-mens compretery surprised when Imperiar Guard division show up without invitation yestahday. Everyone try to get out of Rangoon. Admirarh SPrio-san not issue written ordahs to commandah of Atago force so difficurt to get conviction in war crimes tribunarh aftah sinking arr of herpress ships/ Day Time Surface Combat, near Rangoon at 52,54, Range 19,000 Yards Japanese Ships CA Atago CL Sendai CL Isuzu DD Shiratsuyu DD Hibiki DD Shirayuki DD Hatsuyuki DD Shikinami DD Ayanami DD Asagiri Allied Ships AMC Pansy, Torpedo hits 2, and is sunk xAK Nord, Shell hits 13, and is sunk xAK Oregonian, Shell hits 4, Torpedo hits 1, and is sunk xAK Paul Luckenbach, Shell hits 9, Torpedo hits 1, and is sunk Ha! They carry war suppries, we sink them. They go grub, grub. Perhaps defense attorney make argument that Japan-mens afraid of Arried-mens ship carred HMS Pansy.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/21/2015 2:24:03 PM)
***********Joint Allied War Crime Tribunal, Raffles Hotel, Singapore, 1947********* Prosecutor: Captain Nakaoka, I'd like to take you back to Feb. 4, 1942 <looks at papers>...this would be "d", 1942(d). Is it your contention then that forces under your command were only responding to enemy fire? Captain Nakaoka:** HAI! Pansy shoot first.

Lecivius -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/21/2015 3:19:21 PM)
Their doomed. No one would believe that a Pansy would be aggressive. Better to show a can of SPAM, claim those ships were carrying contraband [;)]

Chickenboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/21/2015 3:26:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake Perhaps defense attorney make argument that Japan-mens afraid of Arried-mens ship carred HMS Pansy. Hai! Sistah ships HMS Buttahcup and HMS Daisy have-ah reputation as rabbah rousahs!

sprior -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/21/2015 4:31:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lecivius Their doomed. No one would believe that a Pansy would be aggressive. Better to show a can of SPAM, claim those ships were carrying contraband [;)] Not spam: [image]local://upfiles/6847/8A435A6EA29242D2BC63897EF00B9251.jpg[/image]

BBfanboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/21/2015 5:14:25 PM)
Right! Nationarh pride requires that Great Britain have its own artery-crogging can of processed rips and a**horhes - Burry Beef!

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/21/2015 5:22:48 PM)
I once took spam on a backpacking trip. Everyone mocked me for carrying the extra weight but after a couple of days of rehydrated pablum, jerkey and onion soup with 3mm noodles, you need a drool bib when you start frying up Spam.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/24/2015 2:17:15 PM)
******DISASTER****** No, it-ah not one of carriers. SG I have big fight with GF and want to move back from San Diego.[:-][:(] SG I tarking about enristing in Navy. Mandrake-san wondah if SG I rearize that would be given rots of orders and be subject to rots of rures...rike no smoking in magazine..no spitting in officah mess...no drink torpedo juice on duty..that-ah kind of thing.

Chickenboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/24/2015 9:05:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake ******DISASTER****** No, it-ah not one of carriers. SG I have big fight with GF and want to move back from San Diego.[:-][:(] That-ah too bad. He's not assuming that he can come back home is he? quote: SG I tarking about enristing in Navy. Hai! Encourage! Traver worrd over! Reave San Diego! Hai! Hai! [&o] quote: Mandrake-san wondah if SG I rearize that would be given rots of orders and be subject to rots of rures...rike no smoking in magazine..no spitting in officah mess...no drink torpedo juice on duty..that-ah kind of thing. Shut-ah up! You no have to terr him this! Ret him figure out for serf. It-ah sound rike he need some time in birge with bucket to straighten him out. About 2 years oughta do it.

Disco Duck -> For the Admiral (1/26/2015 12:22:41 AM)
Didn't know if you had heard this or not. As a Land Rover owner, I would be terrified too. Until the Range Rover came out, they were not something you drove fast on the road. http://news.yahoo.com/queen-elizabeth-once-pranked-saudi-king-abdullah-bin-abdulaziz-222314592.html

Cap Mandrake -> RE: For the Admiral (1/27/2015 5:55:00 PM)
Daughter of Mandrake-san send rist of wedding venues and pranning for guest rist of 200. 5 hr. hosted bar???!! Hory crap! That-ah crazy! Any Irish-mens not-ah make desert course. Mandrake-san not-ah sure know names of 200 peopurh, even incruding names of Presidents. Mandrake-san have to refinance home with rice paper warrs. It-ah arr on Mandrake-san because of prenuptial agreement. Damn-ah rawyers.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: For the Admiral (1/27/2015 5:58:35 PM)
Mandrake-san need hosted bar in Seaside Virra...and not-ah even noon yet.

Lecivius -> RE: For the Admiral (1/27/2015 6:50:39 PM)
Hosted bar does not mean a fully stocked bar. One keg and a kid on the hand pump outta do it [;)]

HansBolter -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (1/27/2015 7:18:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake I once took spam on a backpacking trip. Everyone mocked me for carrying the extra weight but after a couple of days of rehydrated pablum, jerkey and onion soup with 3mm noodles, you need a drool bib when you start frying up Spam. +1 I used to take my best friends kids on stargazing campouts and they refused bacon and demanded I bring spam to fry up for them. There is something nostalgia invoking about the smell of spam frying outdoors

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (2/6/2015 4:18:06 AM)
News Frash quote: NEWS: ARGENTINE PRESIDENT MAKES DIPLOMATIC GAFFE, TWEETS ABOUT CHINESE 'LICE AND PETLOLEUM' Argentine President Cristina Fernandez, on a tour of China to strengthen ties as the economy teeters on the brink of a recession, appeared to commit a diplomatic blunder on Wednesday by poking fun at how the Chinese speak. Haha. What-ah dinosaur. Argentina-womans make stupid joke from 1940's about China-mens.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (2/6/2015 4:23:08 AM)
Mandrake-san give up fight and agree to have wedding for daughter at hoterh near Der Mar. Hoterh-womans who make reservations have MBA. Mandrake-san ask if have-ah someone with Associate Degree from Fresno St to see if cheaper. Now, have to find money. Any ideas for business opportunites?

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (2/6/2015 4:27:08 AM)
Definitery best daughter out of two but stirr not sure worth that much money. Probabry spend just as much money on othah daughter on car repairs and automobire insurance. Oh werr, rook rike Mandrake-san not-ah go to Paris and Normandy this year. Maybe Brisbane nice prace to visit. [:D]

Argos -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (2/6/2015 4:19:01 PM)
Have you considered brinksmanship? suggest that the two bundles of hundreds you happen to have with you would fund a wonderfully romantic eloping? otherwise the two bundles of hundreds will have to go to the MBA to hold the venue and no one will ever see them again... the other option is trying the over-involved parent driving them to eloping- but that has a dangerous risk/reward curve.

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