RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (Full Version)

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Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/13/2014 7:39:44 PM)

Fiji: First attack armost work. Two more navarh guard units stirr coming but probabry Japan-mens attack again tomorrow before Arried-men send herp.

Ground combat at Nadi (131,160)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 1813 troops, 12 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 60

Defending force 994 troops, 6 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 7

Japanese adjusted assault: 10

Allied adjusted defense: 11

Japanese assault odds: 1 to 2 (fort level 1)

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), leaders(+), preparation(-), experience(-)
Attacker: shock(+), fatigue(-)

Japanese ground losses:
16 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Allied ground losses:
42 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 4 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled

Assaulting units:
51st Naval Guard Unit

Defending units:
Nandi Base Force




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/13/2014 7:47:02 PM)

Future Japan-Samoa: Mandrake-san not-ah want to get carriers sunk in 3rd week of war and make Admirarh Sprior-san mad, so read carriers covah Samoa randing instead of running arr ovah South Pacific. Possiburh Arried carriers to SW now disappearh. We brow up some AK's. Randing on Samoa tomorrow.

Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Niue at 148,167

Weather in hex: Partial cloud

Raid spotted at 17 NM, estimated altitude 12,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 6 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 34
B5N2 Kate x 13
D3A1 Val x 14

No Japanese losses

Allied Ships
xAK Aeon, Bomb hits 6, and is sunk
xAK Wanaka, Torpedo hits 4, and is sunk




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/13/2014 7:51:22 PM)

Bad Thing: Japan-men commandah have too much roids from Jose Canseco and get unit crushed by rousy China-mens. Mandrake-san have bad feering unit in move mode.

Ground combat at 87,48 (near Sinyang)

Allied Shock attack

Attacking force 34082 troops, 195 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 1018

Defending force 6571 troops, 50 guns, 11 vehicles, Assault Value = 207

Allied adjusted assault: 1260

Japanese adjusted defense: 15

Allied assault odds: 84 to 1

Combat modifiers
Defender: leaders(+), supply(-)
Attacker: shock(+)

Japanese ground losses:
5182 casualties reported
Squads: 165 destroyed, 73 disabled
Non Combat: 68 destroyed, 35 disabled
Engineers: 5 destroyed, 4 disabled
Guns lost 45 (8 destroyed, 37 disabled)
Vehicles lost 9 (2 destroyed, 7 disabled)
Units retreated 1

Allied ground losses:
279 casualties reported
Squads: 5 destroyed, 48 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 3 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 3 disabled

Defeated Japanese Units Retreating!

Assaulting units:
12th Chinese Corps
48th Chinese Corps
84th Chinese Corps
7th Chinese Corps
85th Chinese Corps
3rd Group Army
21st Group Army

Defending units:
1st Ind.Mixed Brigade




sprior -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/13/2014 8:21:03 PM)

Japanese men want-ah go Singapore to do dance of framing arsehole. We hope Japanese frying men not break Bugis Street too much




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/13/2014 8:44:12 PM)

Speaking of Japan-frying-mens, what-ah probrem with dropping bomb on Marberhead? It rook bad to waste gasorine and torpedoes rike that. Perhaps some kind office team-buirding exericise to raise morarh? Paint barh? Horeshoes?

Arso, new Arried-mens commandahs drop bombs on Bangkok first day on job. Rook rike we need Japan-mens fryboys in Bangkok too.

What-ah say Japan-mens pay back with attack on cities in Oz?




sprior -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/13/2014 9:51:15 PM)

How about we send carriers with frying men, drop many bombs on Sydney-ah harbour. Ha ha




sprior -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/13/2014 9:53:38 PM)

To raise morare we want play-ah with geisha girls. We love them long time




sprior -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/13/2014 10:04:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Ground combat at Johore Bahru (50,83)

Japanese Deliberate attack

Attacking force 7749 troops, 52 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 252

Defending force 0 troops, 0 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 0

Japanese adjusted assault: 243

Allied adjusted defense: 1

Japanese assault odds: 243 to 1 (fort level 1)

Japanese forces CAPTURE Johore Bahru !!!


Defender was suicide Sumatran Rhino with exprosive bert but beast unaburh to push detonation button with hoof.

Rest of Arried-mens run away to Singapore.



How broody herr did rhino get to Maraysia? Japanese frying-men have crose brockade. We suspect water buffaro. We report Engrish men's to All-Nippon Society for Prevention of Cruerty to Animars. ANSPOCTA wirr prosecute




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/13/2014 10:32:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

How about we send carriers with frying men, drop many bombs on Sydney-ah harbour. Ha ha



HAI! That-ah sprendid idea. Nobody evah do that before. Arried-mens nevah think of it. Haha!




sprior -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/13/2014 10:34:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

How about we send carriers with frying men, drop many bombs on Sydney-ah harbour. Ha ha



HAI! That-ah sprendid idea. Nobody evah do that before. Arried-mens nevah think of it. Haha!


The we shout, "suprise," very roudry




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/13/2014 11:12:28 PM)

Haha! That-ah rearry make Mandrake-san raugh!




Chickenboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/14/2014 12:51:58 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

ANSPOCTA wirr prosecute



ANSPOCTA? This-ah some sort of Arried jack-ah speak? No speakee Arried code ringo! Tojo get suspicious...[sm=00000117.gif]




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/17/2014 10:15:10 PM)

***********Strategic Pranning***********

Here probrem. New Arried commandahs probabry read some of Japan-mens prans before Arried-mens get drafted to be in war.

This-ah bring up question. Should Japan-mens just do same thing because Arrid-mens berieve Japan-mens not-ah stupid enough to do same thing?

Or, make new prans?

Or, pretend to make new prans and hope someone terr them fake new prans but just do same old pran aftah arr.

Or, pretend to do same pran but something inscrutaburh at rast second?




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/17/2014 10:28:43 PM)

********December 19, 1941(d)***********


Guam: Guam farrs to Bandasan SNRF

Sinkawang: Japan-mens transports get away. Marburhead retreats toward Sumatra and nearry gets on eup chuff from Japan-mens sub.
Oh yeah.. Japan-mens capture Singkawang or whatevah you carr that prace.

Ambon: Idiot staff frunkie not bring enough troops to take prace. Who know rittah brown Moruccans fight rike devirs?

Samoa: Hiei stop to rook at tremendous dispray of mango brossoms on Uporu and forget to bombard coastarh guns. Even so, Maizuru 1st SNRF get ashore in good shape-ah. The missing carrier division arrives and everyone have grand time browing up ground troops.




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/17/2014 10:31:19 PM)

What about Noumea? Forget it. You nevah hear anything about Noumea from Mandrake-san.




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/17/2014 10:32:11 PM)

PI: No more CAP. Crark AF get-ah brasted by medium bombers from Formosa.




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/17/2014 10:36:49 PM)

Force Z disappeahr. Probabry putting on Bondo and doing sanding and srapeing aftah we drop 73 60 pund bombs on them.




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/17/2014 10:48:32 PM)

Mandrake-san: Hey, guess what, Mandrake-san start to actuarry rook at China and find whohe division just waiting in Shanghai.

Sprior-san: 21st Dvision? You go ahead and take. Engrish in Maraysia just speed bump. We have enough-ah.




BBfanboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/17/2014 11:23:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

***********Strategic Pranning***********

Here probrem. New Arried commandahs probabry read some of Japan-mens prans before Arried-mens get drafted to be in war.

This-ah bring up question. Should Japan-mens just do same thing because Arrid-mens berieve Japan-mens not-ah stupid enough to do same thing?

Or, make new prans?

Or, pretend to make new prans and hope someone terr them fake new prans but just do same old pran aftah arr.

Or, pretend to do same pran but something inscrutaburh at rast second?

I vote for inscrutaburh. Round-eye mens not know meaning of word so be very confused. Besides, it good to practice inscrutaburh for poker game after victory. [sm=character0077.gif]




Chickenboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/18/2014 3:11:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Should Japan-mens just do same thing because Arrid-mens berieve Japan-mens not-ah stupid enough to do same thing?



Most honorabre Mandrake-san: what-ah makes you think that Arried-mens berieve you not-ah stupid enough to do same thing? Domo. [&o]




Chickenboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/18/2014 3:14:03 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Mandrake-san: Hey, guess what, Mandrake-san start to actuarry rook at China and find whohe division just waiting in Shanghai.

Sprior-san: 21st Dvision? You go ahead and take. Engrish in Maraysia just speed bump. We have enough-ah.


Ah, 21st Division. Very nice. Hai! You-ah make-ee sure enough Japans-mens in Shanghai to prevent revort when you takey, yes? I ah recommend some of 'buyabur' garrison units from Manchurey-ah.




witpqs -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/18/2014 6:34:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

***********Strategic Pranning***********

Here probrem. New Arried commandahs probabry read some of Japan-mens prans before Arried-mens get drafted to be in war.

This-ah bring up question. Should Japan-mens just do same thing because Arrid-mens berieve Japan-mens not-ah stupid enough to do same thing?

Or, make new prans?

Or, pretend to make new prans and hope someone terr them fake new prans but just do same old pran aftah arr.

Or, pretend to do same pran but something inscrutaburh at rast second?

They probably have really poor memories, otherwise they would remember how your previous opponents were 'disappeared'. [:D]




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/18/2014 9:32:13 PM)

**************18:40, December 20, 1941(d), Nice Virra with veranda right on Truk Ragoon**********

Mandrake-san:.. Hord on..everyone in battarrion gone?

Jimmy Too Tarh: Hai, every one. It-ah probrem with new tropicarh uniforms.

Mandrake-san: Mandrake-san ristening. <crosses arms>

Jimmy Too Tarh: New guiderines carh for frip frops on Noumea because it supposed to be rearry hot.

Mandrake-san: "Frip frops"

Jimmy Too Tarh: Hai! Rike Jap fraps.

Mandrake-san: Aha, prease continue.

Jimmy Too Tarh: Werr, when infantry get out of rittah boats they jump on corarh and cut up feet rearry bad. Onry few RAMF's not get hurt. So, nearry entire battarrion rorring around on beach with broody feet crying "MEDIC", "MEDIC"...then...France-mens finish boullabaise and attack. It ugry.

Mandrake-san: HORY CRAP? Mandrake-san not berieve entire battarrion wiped out be France-mens! HORY CRAP! How Mandrake-san exprain this at officah crub?...<covers face hands>.........

(TO BE CONTINUED)




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/18/2014 10:23:18 PM)

**************18:40, December 20, 1941(d), Nice Virra with veranda right on Truk Ragoon**********

Mandrake-san:..<reaches into desk and withdraws a long ceremonial dagger>

Jimmy Too Tarh: NO, BOSS, NO!

Very attractive Ruk-womans in row cut dress..I forget name: NO, PLEASE, MANDRAKE-SAN, NOT SEPUKU! WE LOVE YOU.

Mandrake-san: What-ah wrong with you peopurhs? Mandrake-san just cut up mangos. <produces a mango from the same drawer> Hey, risten. Bettah cancerh Freet Cristmas party at that crub in Noumea.




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/18/2014 10:33:00 PM)

[:(]

Ground combat at Noumea (115,160)

Allied Shock attack

Attacking force 774 troops, 17 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 28

Defending force 338 troops, 3 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 1

Allied adjusted assault: 24

Japanese adjusted defense: 1

Allied assault odds: 24 to 1

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), leaders(+), disruption(-), preparation(-)
supply(-)
Attacker: shock(+), leaders(-)

Japanese ground losses:
395 casualties reported
Squads: 9 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 20 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 3 (3 destroyed, 0 disabled)
Units destroyed 1

Allied ground losses:
6 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Assaulting units:
New Caledonia Det

Defending units:
III/66th Naval Guard Unit




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/18/2014 10:36:10 PM)

Samoa: Hiei finarry moves in.
Probrem with bombardment attack is everything get brown up, even parts Jpan-mens want to use. Some idiot brow up fuerh tanks.

Night Naval bombardment of Pago Pago at 148,161

Japanese Ships
BB Hiei

Allied ground losses:
96 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 2 destroyed, 7 disabled
Engineers: 1 destroyed, 1 disabled
Guns lost 3 (2 destroyed, 1 disabled)
Vehicles lost 1 (1 destroyed, 0 disabled)

Airbase hits 4
Airbase supply hits 1
Runway hits 15
Port hits 14
Port fuel hits 1
Port supply hits 1

BB Hiei firing at Pago Pago


The CL with the landing force was out of ammo. I detached her. A staff flunkie was supposed to send a CA from one of the carrier groups....oops. when that happens, the AK's move in with their 5 gun on the stern and take up the duty. We missed one the USMC 6 inch guns.

Invasion Support action off Pago Pago (148,161)
Defensive Guns engage approaching landing force

7 Coastal gun shots fired in defense.

Japanese Ships
xAK Hokkai Maru, Shell hits 2, heavy fires
xAK Daijukyo Maru

6in M1903 CD Gun Battery engaging xAK Hokkai Maru at 6,000 yards


This sort of makes up for Noumea.

Ground combat at Pago Pago (148,161)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 1885 troops, 19 guns, 2 vehicles, Assault Value = 61

Defending force 1672 troops, 27 guns, 11 vehicles, Assault Value = 15

Japanese adjusted assault: 36

Allied adjusted defense: 3

Japanese assault odds: 12 to 1 (fort level 2)

Japanese forces CAPTURE Pago Pago !!!

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), forts(+), leaders(-), disruption(-)
preparation(-), experience(-)
Attacker: shock(+), leaders(-)

Japanese ground losses:
39 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 6 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Allied ground losses:
1549 casualties reported
Squads: 13 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 105 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 22 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 36 (36 destroyed, 0 disabled)
Vehicles lost 12 (12 destroyed, 0 disabled)
Units destroyed 2

Assaulting units:
Maizuru 1st SNLF

Defending units:
104th USN Stn Base Force
7th Marine Defense Battalion




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/18/2014 11:26:11 PM)

Ambon: We send some AK's back to Ambon to off-load more supplies and there is a Dutch sub waiting. Lousy ASW support. I brame staff.

Sub attack near Ambon at 76,109

Japanese Ships
xAK Meiyo Maru, Torpedo hits 1, on fire, heavy damage
TB Hayabusa

Allied Ships
SS KXVI


The Holland-mens take shot at Japan-mes cruisers.

Sub attack near Ambon at 76,109

Japanese Ships
CA Chokai
DD Sagiri
DD Amatsukaze

Allied Ships
SS KXVI, hits 3

SS KXVI launches 4 torpedoes at CA Chokai


Ack, ack! ACK!

Pre-Invasion action off Ambon (76,109) - Coastal Guns Fire Back!
Defensive Guns engage approaching landing force

14 Coastal gun shots fired in defense.

Japanese Ships
APD Hagi, Shell hits 1, heavy fires
TB Hayabusa

Ambon Defenses firing at APD Hagi
APD Hagi firing at Ambon Defenses
75mm Field Gun battery firing at APD Hagi


Maybe the crusiers bombard tonight and we attack tomorrow?

Ground combat at Ambon (76,109)

Allied Bombardment attack

Attacking force 1800 troops, 20 guns, 4 vehicles, Assault Value = 55

Defending force 2164 troops, 12 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 56

Assaulting units:
Molukken Garrison Battalion
Ambon Defenses
Ambon Base Force

Defending units:
16th Naval Guard Unit
6th JNAF Coy




Chickenboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/19/2014 2:40:09 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

**************18:40, December 20, 1941(d), Nice Virra with veranda right on Truk Ragoon**********

Mandrake-san:.. Hord on..everyone in battarrion gone?

Jimmy Too Tarh: Hai, every one. It-ah probrem with new tropicarh uniforms.

Mandrake-san: Mandrake-san ristening. <crosses arms>

Jimmy Too Tarh: New guiderines carh for frip frops on Noumea because it supposed to be rearry hot.

Mandrake-san: "Frip frops"

Jimmy Too Tarh: Hai! Rike Jap fraps.

Mandrake-san: Aha, prease continue.

Jimmy Too Tarh: Werr, when infantry get out of rittah boats they jump on corarh and cut up feet rearry bad. Onry few RAMF's not get hurt. So, nearry entire battarrion rorring around on beach with broody feet crying "MEDIC", "MEDIC"...then...France-mens finish boullabaise and attack. It ugry.

Mandrake-san: HORY CRAP? Mandrake-san not berieve entire battarrion wiped out be France-mens! HORY CRAP! How Mandrake-san exprain this at officah crub?...<covers face hands>.........

(TO BE CONTINUED)

What-ah herr you expect? Takey medicine for victory disease, Mandrake-san. Attack significant-ah enemy base with a singre batarrion? Where heck other batarrions in unit? [&:]




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/23/2014 8:50:33 PM)

quote:

--------ROST-----------

ONE-AH NAVARH INFANTRY BATARRION IN VICINITY NEW AND IMPROVED SCOTRAND. ANSWER TO NAME "RUCKY". PREASE TO CARR SOUTH FREET HEADQUARTERS, TRUK.




Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/23/2014 8:55:43 PM)

*********Pranning*******

1) Get even

2) Bombard Nadi (Fiji) with Japan-mens cruisers tonight.

3) Carriers now refuered and reunited, move West-ah and drop bombs on Australia-mens at Nadi.

4) Japan-mens attack

5) Aeriar bombardment of Ambon from Surawese and bombard with cruisers then Japan-mens attack tomorrow

6) Randing at Canton today. Randing at Tarakan in 1-2 days




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