RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (Full Version)

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Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/30/2014 7:38:48 PM)
Kuching: Japan-mens own it. Ground combat at Kuching (58,88) Japanese Shock attack Attacking force 3497 troops, 18 guns, 42 vehicles, Assault Value = 170 Defending force 1731 troops, 9 guns, 4 vehicles, Assault Value = 48 Japanese adjusted assault: 140 Allied adjusted defense: 7 Japanese assault odds: 20 to 1 (fort level 0) Japanese forces CAPTURE Kuching !!! Combat modifiers Defender: terrain(+), leaders(-), preparation(-), fatigue(-) morale(-), experience(-) Attacker: shock(+) Japanese ground losses: 137 casualties reported Squads: 0 destroyed, 6 disabled Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled Allied ground losses: 551 casualties reported Squads: 31 destroyed, 5 disabled Non Combat: 15 destroyed, 7 disabled Engineers: 2 destroyed, 0 disabled Guns lost 7 (5 destroyed, 2 disabled) Vehicles lost 5 (5 destroyed, 0 disabled) Units retreated 3 Defeated Allied Units Retreating! Assaulting units: 2nd Engineer Regiment II./4th Infantry Battalion I./4th Infantry Battalion 2nd Recon Regiment Defending units: Sarawak Force 2/15 Punjab Battalion 106th RN Base Force

Argos -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/31/2014 1:31:19 AM)
Kuching - isn't that the same sound Putin makes when he looks at his bank accounts?

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/31/2014 5:40:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Argos Kuching - isn't that the same sound Putin makes when he looks at his bank accounts? Hai! Crimea investment bond auction go rearry werr! Wait tirr investors find out Crimea not-ah pay. Arso, Mandrake-san find out Kremrin have-ah rearry crappy dentarh HMO pran. Not-ah see own dentist. Have to go to Cossack dentists.

witpqs -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/31/2014 5:41:56 PM)
Pull teeth with horses and ropes, Three Stooges-style!

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/31/2014 5:52:12 PM)
*****Aboard Asama Maru, fragship of Port Moresby invasion freet, Dec 23, 1943(c)*** <the ship pitches heaviry in storm caused by Grobarh Cooring> Adm. Kubo: Generarh Kitano, 25 Army say forget Rabaurh, just-ah keep going to Port Moresby. It-ahh rong way from Kyushu. How Japan-army-mens of 4 division? Lt. Gen. Kitano: Feering rittah bit tired. <an odd rook comes ovah Generarh Kitano-san> BRAAAAAAAP <throw up fish head soup on Admirarh. It-ah smerr pretty much riek you expect> Adm. Kubo:** Maybe Japan-mens navy ships stop at Rabaurh

Chickenboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/31/2014 7:20:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake *****Aboard Asama Maru, fragship of Port Moresby invasion freet, Dec 23, 1943(c)*** Lt. Gen Kitan**o: [scraping the mess off of the Admiral's shoes with a handkerchief] So sorry, Admiral-san! I-ah get rearry nauseous with time travah!

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/31/2014 10:24:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Chickenboy quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake *****Aboard Asama Maru, fragship of Port Moresby invasion freet, Dec 23, 1943(c)*** Lt. Gen Kitan**o: [scraping the mess off of the Admiral's shoes with a handkerchief] So sorry, Admiral-san! I-ah get rearry nauseous with time travah! [:D] Yes, time travel AND an alternate universe! That will do it every time!

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/31/2014 11:26:04 PM)
*********Operation Washtub, FBI HQ, Washington, DC******* Director Hoover: ..well, what about using Eskimos? Special Agent Smith: Yes, sir. It is the opinion of the planners that Eskimo, Indian and Aleut groups in the Territory should be avoided in view of their propensities to drink to excess and their fundamental indifference to constituted governments and political philosophies. It is pointed out that their prime concern is with survival and their allegiance would easily shift to any power in control. Director Hoover: Right, white people then. No communists or homosexuals either. Special Agent Smith: Homosexuals in rural Alaska, sir? Director Hoover: You might be surprised, special agent. We should teach them some kind of code so the Japs can't break it. Special Agent Smith: Yes sir, we first tried a simple substitution cypher based on the first letter of a page in the novel of their choosing. We would periodically broadcast new page numbers to change the cypher. Each Stay Behind Agent would have a different book. Director Hoover: That sounds superb. How is it going? Special Agent Smith:** Not so well sir. Most of the prospective agents are very poor readers. We are going with Jackspeak.....

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (8/31/2014 11:41:13 PM)
.. [image]local://upfiles/7983/09ABDBEC9C3C467CB52089CAC1CA9CD6.jpg[/image]

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/1/2014 1:24:17 PM)
Answer to previous quiz: "Splenda in the grass" Situation Fiji. I was tempted to send 144th Regt to New and Improved Scotland but we would probably impale ourselves at Suva with just 3 Naval Guard units. One of the units tasked for PM will have to take Noumea. [image]local://upfiles/7983/03CE822C51764FA7AC1865A72D1C0126.jpg[/image]

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/1/2014 1:25:26 PM)
In case anyone has failed to notice this is a complicated game.

witpqs -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/1/2014 4:55:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake In case anyone has failed to notice this is a complicated game. Well, yes, if it has quizzes now! [:D]

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/1/2014 6:19:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: witpqs quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake In case anyone has failed to notice this is a complicated game. Well, yes, if it has quizzes now! [:D] A quiz nobody got the answer to. [:-][:)]

Chickenboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/2/2014 12:13:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Chickenboy quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake What-ah this? Ret you think about. [image]local://upfiles/7983/24805794CE5D4167B76C3664456850A4.jpg[/image] Wirriam Wordsworth? It-ah bad joss to quote oneserrf. Howevah, prease to note that not-ah onry did I fig-ah this out, but provided answah in genuine Japans-men speak. I shourd-ah get partiar credit. Partiar credit on fictitious game aar quiz very very important to Chickenboy-san. Hai!

Chickenboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/2/2014 12:15:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake .. [image]local://upfiles/7983/09ABDBEC9C3C467CB52089CAC1CA9CD6.jpg[/image] Is this quiz arso? Prease arrow me to answer! My answer: bifocarrs reading test! It-ah rearry brurry!

Chickenboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/2/2014 12:18:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake Answer to previous quiz: "Splenda in the grass" Situation Fiji. I was tempted to send 144th Regt to New and Improved Scotland but we would probably impale ourselves at Suva with just 3 Naval Guard units. One of the units tasked for PM will have to take Noumea. Maybe you-ah kirr Arried dogs on Fiji with 3xNG & IR and then move arr three to New-ah Scotrand? Parhaps backfirr Fiji with "garrison" troops from-ah Manchukuo?

Quixote -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/2/2014 12:55:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake What-ah this? Ret you think about. [image]local://upfiles/7983/24805794CE5D4167B76C3664456850A4.jpg[/image] OK, that's an absolutely terrible pun. Or picture-pun. Or whatever you want to call it. Terrible. But fun. I assume this is what you were going for... http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&sqi=2&ved=0CB4QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FSplendor_in_the_Grass&ei=zBQFVPuUF8-BygSx84H4CQ&usg=AFQjCNHY8hnxP7kLC_JkiqTGsh_WoSlOfA&sig2=HFezyzm7KYnFfQjJ75lyBw&bvm=bv.74115972,d.aWw

dcpollay -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/2/2014 1:17:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Quixote quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake What-ah this? Ret you think about. [image]local://upfiles/7983/24805794CE5D4167B76C3664456850A4.jpg[/image] OK, that's an absolutely terrible pun. Or picture-pun. Or whatever you want to call it. Terrible. But fun. I assume this is what you were going for... http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&sqi=2&ved=0CB4QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FSplendor_in_the_Grass&ei=zBQFVPuUF8-BygSx84H4CQ&usg=AFQjCNHY8hnxP7kLC_JkiqTGsh_WoSlOfA&sig2=HFezyzm7KYnFfQjJ75lyBw&bvm=bv.74115972,d.aWw They stole this plot from General Hospital![:)] Spoiler - Bud dies when his contract is up and he wants too much money per episode.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/2/2014 2:09:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Chickenboy It-ah bad joss to quote oneserrf. Howevah, prease to note that not-ah onry did I fig-ah this out, but provided answah in genuine Japans-men speak. I shourd-ah get partiar credit. Partiar credit on fictitious game aar quiz very very important to Chickenboy-san. Hai! Hory crap! Chicken-san right! Mandrake-san not-ah Engrish major onry risten to poems by Kanye West.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/2/2014 2:18:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Chickenboy quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake .. [image]local://upfiles/7983/09ABDBEC9C3C467CB52089CAC1CA9CD6.jpg[/image] Is this quiz arso? Prease arrow me to answer! My answer: bifocarrs reading test! It-ah rearry brurry! Hai! Too much RSD make eyes go bad. It-ah rettah to Mistah Hoovah about Operation Washtub. Not to worry. Japan-mens arready find out.

BBfanboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/2/2014 4:37:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake quote: ORIGINAL: witpqs quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake In case anyone has failed to notice this is a complicated game. Well, yes, if it has quizzes now! [:D] A quiz nobody got the answer to. [:-][:)] I beg to differ - I said it was an old movie (1950s or 1960s)and the title was code for "Roll in the Hay". What else would the Hollywood innuendo of that era mean by "Splendor in the Grass"? And the substitution of Splenda was pretty obvious!

Chickenboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/2/2014 4:01:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BBfanboy quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake quote: ORIGINAL: witpqs quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake In case anyone has failed to notice this is a complicated game. Well, yes, if it has quizzes now! [:D] A quiz nobody got the answer to. [:-][:)] I beg to differ - I said it was an old movie (1950s or 1960s)and the title was code for "Roll in the Hay". What else would the Hollywood innuendo of that era mean by "Splendor in the Grass"? And the substitution of Splenda was pretty obvious! So sorry, Manitoba Imperiarist round-eye Allied fanboy yellow running dog! I-ah beat you by 14 seconds. No partiar credit for you! [:'(] ETA: Forgot imperiarist round-eye crause in epithet. Sorry for omission.

Chickenboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/2/2014 4:03:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: witpqs Well, yes, if it has quizzes now! [:D] This-ah AAR arways have quizzes! Usuarry they start with "Pretend Mandrake-san not-ah read manuarr. How does [insert gamepray querry here] work?" [:D]

uncivil_servant -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/8/2014 11:57:14 AM)
So - whats happening Japanese pig dogs? Did you invade LA? Did they sortie the Arizona and it caught the KB at night in a surface action?

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/8/2014 2:08:49 PM)
Hai! Someting hahppen. ************December 24, 1941(c)*********** Fiji:** A group of empty transports depart Nadi. Inbound 144th Regiment and the transports stirr unroading have escorts...so somebody hav-ah to go arone.[:)] Day Time Surface Combat, near Nadi at 130,159, Range 5,000 Yards Japanese Ships PB Tama Maru #5, Shell hits 4, and is sunk PB Chokai Maru, Shell hits 2, and is sunk xAKL Toyotsu Maru, Shell hits 10, and is sunk xAK Yosyu Maru, Shell hits 24, and is sunk xAKL Katsura Maru, Shell hits 12, and is sunk xAKL Kaito Maru, Shell hits 8, and is sunk xAKL Tenposan Maru, Shell hits 7, and is sunk Allied Ships CL Leander CL Achilles CL Perth DD Voyager Everyone except Yosyu Maru was-ah 1 point. Arries keep going toward Nadi and run into escort for 144th Regiment. Daytime battle at 5000 yds. Seem rike Japan-mens courd do bettah than this. Day Time Surface Combat, near Nadi at 131,160, Range 5,000 Yards Japanese Ships CA Aoba CA Kinugasa, Shell hits 2 CA Furutaka CA Kako, Shell hits 1 DD Oboro DD Uzuki DD Kikuzuki DD Yuzuki, Shell hits 2, heavy fires Allied Ships CL Leander, Shell hits 2 CL Achilles, Shell hits 1 CL Perth, Shell hits 3 DD Voyager, Shell hits 2, Torpedo hits 1, and is sunk Reduced visibility due to Thunderstorms Maximum visibility in Thunderstorms: 6,000 yards Range closes to 17,000 yards... Range closes to 11,000 yards... Range closes to 7,000 yards... Range closes to 5,000 yards... CONTACT: Japanese lookouts spot Allied task force at 5,000 yards CONTACT: Allied lookouts spot Japanese task force at 5,000 yards Arries try to run away. Day Time Surface Combat, near Nadi at 131,160, Range 6,000 Yards Japanese Ships CA Aoba, Shell hits 1 CA Kinugasa, Shell hits 1 CA Furutaka, Shell hits 2 CA Kako DD Oboro DD Uzuki DD Kikuzuki DD Yuzuki, heavy fires, heavy damage Allied Ships CL Leander, Shell hits 1, on fire CL Achilles CL Perth, Shell hits 5, on fire, heavy damage

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/8/2014 2:18:01 PM)
Definitery a missed opportunity for both sides. Japan-mens miss chance to sink CL's. Arries miss chance at 144th Regiment. The CA's except Aoba mainry run out of ammo. The second surface group at Nadi not-ah get into fight. Arries: 1 DD sunk, one CL messed up. Japan-mens: 5 rittah AK's sunk, 2 patrohr boats, 1 DD messed up pretty good but survive. Surface dings onry on crusiers.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/8/2014 2:26:55 PM)
Maraysia: Arried-mens try to sneak out troops from Georgetown. Japan-mens get-ah rearry angry at stupid Hoyas jerseys. Admirarh SPrior not-ah fraid crappy Buffaroes. Morning Air attack on Georgetown , at 49,74 Weather in hex: Light rain Raid spotted at 32 NM, estimated altitude 24,000 feet. Estimated time to target is 9 minutes Japanese aircraft Ki-27b Nate x 41 Allied aircraft Buffalo I x 10 No Japanese losses Allied aircraft losses Buffalo I: 1 destroyed Aircraft Attacking: 36 x Ki-27b Nate sweeping at 20000 feet Japan-mens waste torpedoes. Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Georgetown at 49,74 Weather in hex: Thunderstorms Raid spotted at 20 NM, estimated altitude 18,000 feet. Estimated time to target is 7 minutes Japanese aircraft G4M1 Betty x 9 No Japanese losses Allied Ships xAP Khedive Ismail xAP Rajula Aircraft Attacking: 9 x G4M1 Betty launching torpedoes at 200 feet Naval Attack: 1 x 45cm Type 91 Torp Nerr drivers practice more. Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Georgetown at 49,74 Weather in hex: Thunderstorms Raid spotted at 14 NM, estimated altitude 18,000 feet. Estimated time to target is 5 minutes Japanese aircraft G3M2 Nell x 6 No Japanese losses Allied Ships xAP Khedive Ismail, Torpedo hits 1, on fire KV Nigella, Torpedo hits 1, and is sunk And more Nerrs. Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Georgetown at 49,74 Weather in hex: Thunderstorms Raid spotted at 19 NM, estimated altitude 23,000 feet. Estimated time to target is 7 minutes Japanese aircraft G3M2 Nell x 6 No Japanese losses Allied Ships xAP Khedive Ismail, Torpedo hits 2, and is sunk xAP Rajula

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/8/2014 2:41:52 PM)
Tarakan, this sound rike in Africa but rearry in Borneo: Huzzah! Japan-mens bring aviation mens so annoying B-17's not-ah brow everything up right aftah we capture. America-mens destroyers shoot Japan-mens arready ashore and onry miss 3 Japan-mens cruisers by 5 minutes. Japan-mens not-ah even see Arried mens coming. Crose carr for Arriedmens DD's. Night Naval bombardment of Tarakan at 67,91 Allied Ships DD Paul Jones DD Stewart DD Bulmer Japanese ground losses: 22 casualties reported Squads: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled DD Paul Jones firing at Yokosuka 4th SNLF DD Stewart firing at Yokosuka 4th SNLF DD Bulmer firing at Yokosuka 4th SNLF Ground combat at Tarakan (67,91) Japanese Shock attack Attacking force 1876 troops, 19 guns, 2 vehicles, Assault Value = 67 Defending force 1732 troops, 46 guns, 6 vehicles, Assault Value = 20 Japanese adjusted assault: 54 Allied adjusted defense: 13 Japanese assault odds: 4 to 1 (fort level 0) Japanese forces CAPTURE Tarakan !!! Combat modifiers Defender: terrain(+), fatigue(-), morale(-), experience(-) Attacker: shock(+), disruption(-) Japanese ground losses: 36 casualties reported Squads: 2 destroyed, 4 disabled Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled Allied ground losses: 936 casualties reported Squads: 14 destroyed, 0 disabled Non Combat: 38 destroyed, 1 disabled Engineers: 8 destroyed, 0 disabled Guns lost 29 (29 destroyed, 0 disabled) Vehicles lost 5 (5 destroyed, 0 disabled) Units retreated 3 Units destroyed 2 Defeated Allied Units Retreating! Assaulting units: Yokosuka 4th SNLF 21st Fld AA Gun Co 22nd JAAF AF Bn Defending units: VII KNIL Battalion Tarakan Base Force Tarakan Defenses 1/12th Avn Sup Afd Manado Garrison Bn /1

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/8/2014 2:49:30 PM)
Sinyang: This-ah sound rike in China. It is in China but Mandrake-san stir have to rook up. Some joker put 60,000 rittah yarrow China-mens baaahstards EAST of Sinyang on December 7 (and not-ah terr Mandrake-san) and China-mens try to take Goddamn city back. Hory crap! If Sinyang farr Mandrake-san have to get out ceremoniarh daggah again. Japan-mens get-ah rearry a sneaky and fry in a batarrion and harf of infantry without heavy weapons and hord off 60,000 rittah yarrow China-mens baahstards. HEHE.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (9/8/2014 7:31:44 PM)
Nothah ting Mandrake-san just notice about RAN/RNZN raid at Nadi..either: 1) Arried-mens not even see KB sitting NW of isrand just day before -or- 2) Arried-mens hire Miro for recon rider and Mistah Minderbinder terr them japan-mens reaving. -or- 3) Arried-mens have barrs rike ripe coconuts

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